Marriage is a social trap

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146 comments Page 1 of 15.

Sangeeta said:   6 years ago
There are some points according to Indian scenario.

1. The marriage is not a trap because we choose to go in a relation.
Definitely not in a country like India where approx 80% marriages are arranged. People have very short time know each other but only for formality. Marriage is already decided by Others.

2. What about if you are in love with anyone and your family is against that.
Yes, It's the story of many people here. Then they try to marry you aka trap you with another.

3. How many people get chance to choose their partners according to their taste or how many get enough time to wait until they find their right one. VERY FEW.

4. Marriage is a bond of 'two families' regardless the happiness of 'two souls'. Its a social contract in the names like Holy. Sacred.

5. What about the future of the girls who are not educated well or not get chance and then married by families in the hope of rest life spending with her husband 'safely'. Then if they are divorced or widowed how a girl will survive. What guarantees that she will remain respectful in that home where she was sent as a bride to be safe.

Neither she is educated neither she is independent neither she has any right as a bride too after becoming a widow or abandoned. I know this is not every one story or God bless not anyone. But its reality that most girls are married without proper education and then they don't get any chance of education after marriage.

Then. In my opinion. Forced or marriage in a hurry is a TRAP. Definitely.

6. It's not necessary that only person chosen by your parents is your soulmate. You have already chosen. Society gets this wrong. because you are not meeting society status. Society forces family. Family forces you. And then You Are Married In A Holy Foundation. Mostly happens this. I will not recite here the Religious stuff here like its holy.

Saying reality according to the present time.

7. Many people have the misunderstanding that marries their daughters will get them a safer life. You Are Wrong. I have an incident here.

A girl was married in the middle of the school. In the hope of good. Safer. Life. Family thinks. But her husband died. In our rich and great culture. Dying husband is a wife mistake. So she was also considered bad. She had a son. Nobody is supporting and neither she has enough education to live with respect. What a helpless condition. So before marrying your daughters. Sisters. Please make them educated because marriage can wait but education can not. Thus marriage becomes a trap. Because marriage prevented them from being educated and brings lots of inappropriate customs and superstitions which she can't fight alone.

The Real treasure a family at the best can give to their daughters is the Education and independence. Because everyone's life is not a fairy tale. And Marry Is not the end of Anyone's life.

Thanks.
(53)

Mohd Nafees said:   3 years ago
A family always worried about their daughter or sun marriage. But they never try to find out what their daughter or son wanted. They just wanted to complete their formalities due to our social and cultural activities. In that hurry, neither boy could found the right match or a girl could found the right match. They both get married and started theirs after marriage journey. Initially, they feel everything going good but after few months actual conflict starts. Where their understanding, thinking, adaptability, responsibility, preferences collided. If a girl a much higher educated then the boy it will be a total mess. And if a boy under-educated then again it will be really hard for both. Now, why this happens. Due to incompatible match. Parents did their formalities but now who is suffering both the partners.

Example: A surgeon girl married to a boy who doesn't have even a bachelor's degree due to family and our society pressure. After few months girl finds that she has done a mistake and the boy is incompatible. She tried hard to keep their family n her husband happy but inside the girl was suffering a lot. Where she needs a true partner who can motivate her who can ask her to dream about the future who can ask her to achieve what would like to achieve in her professional life. But that doesn't happen due to the under-education of the boy because he doesn't know the real power and value of education. The boy started pointing out the girl for her professional duties and about her education. Now the girl starts feeling much down because of no motivation no dreams even though every time listens to negative sentences about her. Now the girl starts feeling really alone in a crowded atmosphere also. That's happening because when she needs a true partner she doesn't have anyone who can help her to come out from such a difficult state of mind. On the other hand, the boy is living his life according to his wish he is doing every possible effort to achieve his goals in his life. Now I wanted to ask everyone what you all suggest to that girl'. ? If still, we all say that marriage is not a trap then please suggest a way to that girl' so that she can start living her life with the right dream.

According to me, we should not push our kid's for marriage because of our society and culture. But we should push our kid's to dream High and find a happy life for ourselves.
(12)

Bidyut said:   9 years ago
No. Marriage is not social trap:

1. The persons entering into the relationship are bind physically and emotionally thus routing the couple to establish a spiritual relationship, which outweighs the physical relationship. An emotional wavelength of individuals has to be altered, to sustain the relationship which sprouts and spreads sporadic joy forever in their life.

2. The feeling of being binded with a person makes another feel strong that he has a soul mate, with which he can share everything. Sense of belonging inspires the individual to perform their obligations in social and professional areas.

3. Rituals and customs establish public relations with friends and relatives that keep an individual strong psychologically.

4. On health perspective, having only one committed partner will keep a person away from the contagious diseases communicated through physical contact.

5. The marriages are thought for the sake of life because of which the divorce rate is as low as 1.1% and it assures the compensation like dowry and ensures the social, astrological compatibility of the couple and make sure that the bond is going to attain permanency. Indian marriages especially have such a great combination of individual and social bonds.

Yes it is social trap:

1. Certainly marriage is a social trap which a family expects their children to fall in which depletes the total individualistic features by sweeping out the personal freedom.

2. A man is a man first, and then he is a social being. In fact there exists as difference between a person and himself, as there exists the difference between a person to the other person. So how can one simply get into a relationship for which no one can guarantee how the feelings, situation change in the future, which may seek high mortal freedom.

3. Apart from this, there exists domestic violence, dowry system, caste, religion, color and height matching, individual differences which leads to personal dissatisfaction that decompresses personal freedom and kills the valuable life time inspiring to psychological disorders and gets humiliated by the partner, which gives an opinion that marriage makes a man disrupt.
(16)

Ho Hwei Ling said:   6 years ago
Marriage is one of the biggest social trap. The other biggest social trap is education.

In a country, the most important thing is revenue. With people, government can obtain taxes from its citizens. Humans, especially man, want to carry on their bloodline. Once the man has offsprings, their children will continue to contribute a means of income for the country after they have grown up. In a marriage, the man will bring home money from their jobs. In the midst of bringing up his children, he is helping the government to bring up the future source of citizens and the future source of income in a way. After working so hard in his job and with his money drained by his family, the man will be too tired and penniless to create nuisance in the society.

Most women choose to get married because of love, security of a family, want to have children. After they have borne the man children, they think that their marriage will last forever because the man will stay in a marriage because of the children. Before marriage, the girl could be the apple of her family's eye. After marriage, her life is relegated to hell. In a modern society, like her husband, she may have to work. She has to take care of her children. If her husband's parents are unwell, taking care of them falls on her shoulders too. Cooking and household cores must be taken care of by her too. Not withstanding bearing nasty criticisms from her in-laws' family. If her husband is a mama's boy, her life is worse off. In short, a woman's life is more like that of a slave after marriage. Having a job takes care of her better than being in a marriage. With her life revolving about her family, she will also not create nuisance for the society.

This is the reason why most country disapproves of gay marriages. The government does not want to lose control of the population chart.

Education conformes the people's brain to what the government wants them to do and prepares them to work in the future so that the citizens will bring in revenue for their country. If the government can brainwash them to vote for them, that is the best. They will stay in power and do whatever they want.
(19)

Joy said:   1 decade ago
Marriage is a scared bond between not only two person but also between two families even between two cultures and religions.

It is so sacred that in every religion the marriage rituals are performed in front of the respective gods. It redefines a relationship between two person such that they remain with each other in all the ups and downs of each others life.

Be it a love marriage where there are new discoveries in the already familiar relationships or a arranged marriage where there is a start of a whole new relationship, marriage is the most memorable experience of life which separates human being from the biological reproduction in animals.

But, in today's hectic life where is the time for "discoveries in relationships". The general intolerance in our society is having its impact on marriages as well, and we are seeing more and more divorces. For these people marriages have become a social trap.

It is said that marriages are made in heaven, because after that people don't remain alive anymore.

These separations have a highky negative impact not only on the to person but, also on their families, their children and the society on a whole.

The children of separated parents, are subjected to a unbalanced life for no fault of their own. They become frystrated.

We have seen many celebrity marriages too having an abrupt and unhappy end. Yhe very recent being the one between kim kardashian and kris humpries which lasted for 72 days only.

Again, when there is no relation between two people, forget husband - wife relation, they are two completely different people forced to stay under one roof for social obligations ie. Fear of being a point of discuusion that is when marriages become a socila trap.

But, we have to undersatnd that any marriage needs time, patience, compromise and care for each other from each other to sustain.
(75)

Arif said:   1 decade ago
I think marriage is not a social trap but there are some way to become trap. There are many examples, a person gets marry a person who don't know about his/her status. I agree with that marriage is made in havean and allah gives us a partner whose we don't know about her/him. But it becomes respectful and understandable after marriage. There are two kind of marriage. Love marriage and arrange marriage. Arrange marriage is a best way to get our partner. Our parents decide that who will your partner. And it makes toward two families. We aware about him/her. Our parents are more experience to find him or her because they know his family. And according to love marriage, we find our partner and talk to our parents about him or her. They have more aware about marriage and moire experience. So they would contact their family and get to marriage.

So in this way it is not a trap. But a person or his family make relationship in the name of marriage for only dowry system. If they have lure of money. Surely it is a trap because thats relationship is irrespectful for both and it makes many problems like divorse. Likewise love marriages are sometime trap because we fall in love with our partner and want to marry in any situation weather their parents are not ready for marriage, they go to court and gets a court marriage. But when they lives in society there are many reason bei ng asked. Parents are being questioned in society.

People are become irrespectful and arise many question about their marriage. Is this not a trap? Surely it is a trap because we hurt our parents and society, we cannot live with our partner to hurt our parents. So we need to be patience for marriage. A time is fixed for our marriage. So that we need to wait.
(13)

Nageshnnr said:   10 years ago
When Love is unconditional then only it will leads for the two souls to bond together for a life time. In game of life everything has got some rules to play. If we those rules of society or our cultures ; life will be smooth. If you disobey and set your own rules then you need to undergo some suffering it can be just for initial days or lasts for life time also. Consequences cannot be predicted.

The meaning of marriage is different for different class of people in society. Current generation has become sick and girls parents giving priority to.

1) Physical appearance.
2) Monthly salary.
3) Assets the man is holding.

Does this man that a person with all this qualities only should get married ? then I don't think the actual concept of marriage is satisfied.

A guy will prefer girl only if.

1) She looks fair and beautiful.
2) Gives more dowry and basic gold ornaments or assets.

The pathetic situation is the more people are educated more they are expecting.

Friends I request, Those who are going to get married for both guys and girls. Please try to understand what marriage is. Dont try to do business or do shopping.

Good marriages will stabilize the societies. This is major difference between developed countries and India.

In India we are able to see our forefathers or grand grand parents because of this system. I don't say don't give or take dowry, but expect only some has the capacity to give and don't squeeze poor or middle class people.

Middle class people should start revolutionary change by taking oath that guys will not take dowry from poor or middle class families. If some rich families like your profile nothing wrong in they offering you.

Thanks and Regards.
(16)

B.Monika keerthi said:   10 years ago
Hai buddies!

As far as I am concerned, marriage is a most beautiful, fragile and precious bond that a person ever come across in his/her lifetime. This journey is totally rely in belief. It is the basic ingredient for the successful life. For example, I made a dish, I feel it as mouthwatering dish and tasted it. Here I have three cases.

1. If all the ingredients, masalastuff, food color, its aroma everything mix up in equal proportions, then I say it as delicious dish.

2. If at least one went wrong, I can adjust it somehow by managing.

3. If none of them mix, then I can't taste, I get raged over me for making such a dirty dish.

So this example reflects marriage life-it's all depends on the couple who involved in the bond.

1. If they understand each other, shares their unpleasantly besides ecstatic moments, care for each other. All these make them a lovely pair, most adorable parents to their kids.

2. If at least one case fails, they have to overcome it by spending some time for each other in their busy schedule. They should not let burdens to settle on their happiness.

3. If mutual understanding is not there, it leads to initially anger, then fight, at last world war.

So should not let the marriage a "trap" rather a "tray" with full of love, affection, believing each other, adjustable to situation and finally.

DON'T LET THE EGO TO STAY IN YOUR HEARTS AND JUST LET 'E' TO 'GO'.
(8)

Ananya Singh said:   11 months ago
In my opinion, Marriage is not a trap. Everything has its own pros and cons, it totally depends on how we deal with the situation. Marriage is a bond of love, commitment and accepting each other flaws. Where we can share our fears, insecurities, and achievements without any jealousy. It's just that sometimes we need support and time from our partners for our own growth. One should only be ready for marriage when they are fully prepared to share their life with another person and not under the pressure that families are forcing. It should be their own decision, so that in future if anything happens one should take their own responsibilities.

Even today when people want to live independently they need a caring partner that's why they opt for a living relationship so that before long-term commitment they can ensure that they are ready to share their life with this person. Nowadays Genz opts for flings because they want one person but they don't want commitment or responsibilities, this shows the person's own insecurity. At last, I conclude my word - Marriage shows you are ready for commitment, an adult who is ready to face hard times as well as good times with their partner. So it is definitely marriage is not a trap.
(12)

Maverick said:   6 months ago
Hey everyone!

In my perspective, marriage shouldn't be considered as a social trap at all. Marriage is a pious and saintly bond between two individuals.

On a macro level, it seems marriage is a burden. But the root cause of such awful thinking is a lack of understanding and trust in each other. The main pillars of any relationship is trust, respect, and understanding for each other.

Another cause of increasing failed marriages is the lustfulness amongst youth. Everyone is looking for extra-marital affairs in order to satiate their physical hunger. And this is true even for love marriages! The so-called love vanishes when lust comes into the picture.

However the same doesn't apply in the case of arranged marriages. In arranged marriages, if the choice of girl/boy is not fulfilled, then it sows the seeds of discord right from the beginning of marriage and they start to dislike each other and create animosity among them.

Last but not least, my point is that everyone needs moral support in life and everyone needs and deserves a life partner. Marriage is a very sanctimonious relationship. However, if the marriage is not working cordially, it's better to separate from each other.
(6)


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