Love Marriages Vs Arranged Marriages
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Points to remember before you participate in this disuccsion:
- Assume, you one of the member of a real group discussion.
- Take the initiative to participate and contribute your thoughts.
- Express your positive attitude towards providing the solution.
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Mallika said:
(Thu, May 24, 2012 04:04:45 PM)
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Hello every one.
According to my opinion love marriages are too better than arranged marriages, especially in this modern society. But in the case of arranged marriages, the support of both the families & society could be there. After the love marriage they should face some EGO problems, at that time parents couldn't interfere in that. According to my idea love, trust, adjustment & understanding are the pillars for marriage to get successful whether it is love or arranged. |
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Vara Prasanna said:
(Thu, May 24, 2012 03:46:13 PM)
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Hi everybody,
The problem is not of love marriage or arranged marriage, there must be a mutual understanding between the partners. By that life will be more happy. |
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Chaitri Parikh said:
(Mon, May 21, 2012 03:07:35 PM)
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Their are some advantages of love marriage like you know that person very well before marriage only, one can make up the mind for the things that are going to change in once life and can adjust easily, love exist from before marriage only and one gets to choose life partner with their own choose.
But above all I think love, understanding, adjustment & trust are the pillar for marriage to get successful whether it is love or arrange marriage. |
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Alekhya said:
(Fri, May 18, 2012 02:31:53 PM)
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| Hi friends in my point of view both are good but love marriage makes mutual understanding between the couples which plays prominent role for entire life which we spend with our partner. At the same time we need to make that love marriage into arranged by convincing our parents then only it gives happiness to many lives. |
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Chandrakant said:
(Thu, May 17, 2012 11:13:33 PM)
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Hello friends,
I am of the strong opinion that considering the present scenario love marriage is definitely better compared to arranged marriage. Well, I say this because in this era of modernization and rapid growth we do not have time even for us so how on earth can you expect us to spend time understanding our life partner. Moreover the other person may not be able to understand us at all and we cannot blame him/her (as the case may be) for it since the other person is totally a stranger to us. So by the time we come to terms with our life partner we have both spent a lot like hell in manipulating each others mind but this is not the case in case of love marriage. In love marriage, if it is true love then the other person knows us very well and can very easy reciprocate our feelings. He or she will not have to suppress his/her desires. The problem stated above becomes more complicated in an arranged marriage if the husband and wife life in a separate place away from their parents because there is nobody who can understand them and they themselves will take a long time settling together if they are both working.
People often say that there are frequent divorces in case of love marriage but I would like to ask you "Aren't there divorces in arranged marriages?".
The answer is quite clear all you need for a healthy relationship is the bond of understanding an trust in the other person an for it you need to know the person very well and this is possible very easily in a love marriage. |
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Chander said:
(Thu, May 17, 2012 01:49:53 AM)
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As per my understanding, It depends on the nature of a person. If you are someone, who takes everything with positivity and can adjust with anyone, arrange marriage is your cup of tea, if not, then you know! Love marriage.
As we say in India!
In arrange marriage all your relatives push you to a water well and in love marriage you yourself push your self to the water well. |
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Rate this: +15 -1
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Diganta Sahoo said:
(Fri, May 11, 2012 02:57:14 PM)
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| Actually love marriage is better because before staying together whole-life first you both need to know each other perfectly. Now-a-days you can not know some one perfectly in one day or one week. So you need some more time which is not in arranged marriage case. |
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Rate this: +15 -6
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Mahi Dhami said:
(Fri, May 11, 2012 02:11:01 PM)
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| In my opinion arranged marriage better then love marriage. Because in love marriage both boy and girl have to manage all the situations, most of the time their family member never interfere in between them. After marriage sometimes it happens that their ego problem might come and they fight because of that. And like before marriage if one from them gets angry so other one comes and try so solve the situation, is not going to happen after marriage. |
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Rate this: +15 -13
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Rukhsar Khan said:
(Fri, May 11, 2012 02:12:19 AM)
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| One can make love marriages or arrange marriages that is not a main issue. There must be understanding between wife and husband. If they have trust on each other completely then they can face any problem in entire life. |
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Rate this: +33 -3
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Nadeem said:
(Thu, May 10, 2012 08:26:11 PM)
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In my opinion love marriage are best for a person who believe in your partner.
Both adjust fastly and make life beautiful. |
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Aniket Patil said:
(Thu, May 10, 2012 08:07:55 PM)
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On my point of view, if Love marriage is great. In today's world There is no guarantee of any person whether he/she is good or not. So, in my opinion Love marriages are better. Love marriage is better than arrange marriage if the relation between you and your partner is true love not lust, Love marriage never fails, the marriages made on lust that fails, Love makes us able to adjust from every situation in our life as well as every family member, Love is divine thing, and it's the heart of marriage relationship.
All you know that marriage is a beautiful relationship.
Marriage is not a thing that can buy in supermarket or etc. It is a journey of two bodies with one heart.
According to me love marriage is better than arrange marriage as in love marriage both the partners knows about each others positive and negative side before only. A love marriage is a union of two individuals based upon mutual love, affection, commitment and attraction. In my opinion LOVE is important in every relation but it doesn't mean that it could be in the form of love marriage. Mutual understanding is the 2nd important thing that is the key behind any successful relation.
So Keep Loving. Love Is Best & Best. |
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Manoj Kumar said:
(Tue, May 8, 2012 09:23:46 PM)
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Hello Everyone it is Manoj Sharma!
According to my point of view love marriage is far better than the arranged marriage. The relation created by this marriage is more stronger than the arranged marriage. It is because this relation starts from heart and then goes to experience of perfect living. Though lot of misunderstandings are generated in between he/she during their life span but still a sacrifice of desire is there due to mutual love and affection of the couple towards each other. In arranged marriage conforms of life comes after every instance but in love marriage sacrifice of desires with happiness is done after every moment. |
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Anjali said:
(Sun, May 6, 2012 11:12:25 PM)
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Ronie is truly right. In my opinion, Love marriage is better than Arrange marriage. In today's world There is no guarantee of any person whether he/she is good or not. So, in my opinion Love marriages are better. In Love marriage partners understands & knows each other very well. Where as in arrange marriage, no 1 knows what kind of partner he/she will get. In arrange marriage if there will be no understanding between 2 of them or if they are unable to adjust with each other, then this relationship may lead to danger.
And as Ronie said its just for Parents the child sacrifice his/her Love, Life. But if Parents understand their children and sacrifice their ego, the Life of children can be far better than the life after Arrange marriage. |
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Aarti said:
(Fri, May 4, 2012 11:55:12 AM)
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Jane Austen has rightly put it, 'Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance'. So its hard to say which one, love or arranged, is better. Some will be pro love marriage and some pro arranged marriage. I feel there are certain good points in both types of marriages. In love marriage, you have a choice, its your decision entirely. You know the person very well and hence after marriage especially for a girl, she has her comfort zone along-with her in an entirely alien atmosphere. In arranged marriage, she has to acclimatize to the changed surroundings without any comfort zone in the form of her husband. But there is always a risk involved in love marriage.
In arranged marriage, the whole families of both the sides are involved. And now a days, the scenario of arranged marriages has changed. Its no longer the 'See the bride, see the groom, talk for few minutes and then give your verdict' kind of a situation. Parents now a days prefer taking it slowly. So in arranged marriages, only the first meeting is arranged, and afterwards knowing each others nature, likes, dislikes, and the level of understanding, a decision is reached. But then may it be love or arranged marriage, what's more important is love, trust, understanding and compatibility. So none of them is bad as long as the relationship isn't held up on a breakable thread. |
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Rate this: +20 -5
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Prateek said:
(Wed, May 2, 2012 03:57:35 PM)
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| Love marriage is better than arrange marriage if the relation between you and your partner is true love not lust, Love marriage never fails, the marriages made on lust that fails, Love makes us able to adjust from every situation in our life as well as every family member, Love is divine thing, and it's the heart of marriage relationship.., |
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Rate this: +19 -7
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Rahul Kumar said:
(Sun, Apr 29, 2012 03:13:48 PM)
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Hello friend, I am Rahul.
My points of view is both marriages have merits as well as demerits. I think arranged marriage is better than love marriage because our Indian society, civilization and culture does not allow for love marriage. In arranged marriage boys and girls both are agree with each other. This marriage is the symbol simplicity according to our civilization. But I also want to say that due to spread of western culture and civilization love marriages are going on and most of love marriages are happened against the parents of boys and girls.
As you know that my dear friends India is the country of villages. In villages area when boys and girls are fell in love then they quit their houses and get marriage to each other against their parents as well as society. In this situation life of husband and wife become dangerous and defame for their parents and society.
So, I suggest everyone to never fall in love and not get love marriage.
That's all about it. |
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Rakesh said:
(Fri, Apr 27, 2012 03:53:33 PM)
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In my opinion - Both are good and both are bad, as good and bad they can be.
One should just be prepared for the life after marriage ceremony. Even love marriages - dont accrue LIVING In with the partner which is crucial in terms of testing of waters.
Comparing the two is like asking which is best way to wash clothes - in a washing machine OR in by hand - common the result is only to get clean clothes! Meaning destiny also plays a role in bringing people together. Alot of people who never imagined going for a love marriage - marry for love, and a lot who thought that they would only marry for love, go in for arrange marriages! It really doesnt matter HOW you get there - what matters is what you make of it when you get there. Who you find or end up with you life-partner is a matter of chance, after marriage - a marriage is just a marriage - not love or arranged. But yes youth of today fancy love marriage - because of our harsh Indian system, which makes dating prohibitory unlike the western society whom we desperately try to ape. Hence - in a Western society people are at loss to understand arrange marriages and Indians feel like a misfit, in their society.
I would just say one needs to be open about finding the right one for them. Either by themselves, or through assistance from family. Both are good. An arranged marriage is pretty modern thesedays - gives ample room for courting/dating and things are not forced or imposed on coupled, arrange marriages just give scope for a more informed decision regarding your life.
Both are cool! Keep the way open! Find the one for you and live happily ever after - love or arranged, why bother?! :) |
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Renu said:
(Fri, Apr 27, 2012 01:51:53 PM)
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Hi Friends, My name is Renu.
In my opinion, Love Marriage and Arranged Marriage is both are good. Because it is not a one day game, it is a relationship forever! and you can't be sure, you will be happy when you have get love marriage or arranged marriage.
As per my point of view, After marriage in "Love or Arranged", Two things are most important in our relationship.
First is Understanding and second is Trust. When our understanding is very good and we have trust our partner completely, So we can face any type of problem in entire life easily and nobody can brake our relationship.
And we both are happy forever! |
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Rate this: +31 -2
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Om Pal: said:
(Mon, Apr 23, 2012 01:43:20 PM)
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| According to me both the marriages are good. It is not the matter of which marriage we are going to have, it is matter of leading life after marriage. Each of them having their own advantages and disadvantages. It depends on the two persons not on the type of marriage. When both are very understanding, adjustable then there will be no issues. |
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Rate this: +35 -4
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Ravi Vedwan said:
(Sun, Apr 22, 2012 08:18:54 PM)
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All you know that marriage is a beautiful relationship.
My parents' marriage was arranged and they are living happily but nowadays the ambiance has changed you have seen many corrupt marriages, dowry cases also, these are mainly in the arranged marriages. Just take an example of a girl who is innocent enough and she got married to a loose character boy or vice versa. Why? because her/his family member didn't know that thing before marriage.
Clearly I prefer Love marriage because both of you know each other and the families of each other.
If someone says love marriage is made for divorce then he/she is wrong because that marriage is not based on the love but totally on INFATUATION.
Love is immortal friends and it respect its followers. |
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Jakpen Deva said:
(Sat, Apr 21, 2012 11:38:33 AM)
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If my opinion arrange marriage is successful at this time.
Because love marriage has big dangerous choosing right person getting permissions from both family facing the in laws like this lot.
In arrange marriage, marriage couple do have respect each other as they are new with the relation chip but in love marriage most of the couple don't give that much respect of each other like if anyone of them makes any mistake other person starts shouting and scolding each other then my choice arrange marriage is good.
IN LOVE MARRIAGE AFTER THE MARRIAGE THERE IS NO LOVE BETWEEN COUPLES ITS JUST A COMPROMISE.
THANKS. |
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Nikhil K said:
(Fri, Apr 20, 2012 06:16:00 PM)
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Hi Friends,
Myself Nikhil and I don't want to write long para to make someone understand that Love Marriage is better or Arranged Marriage is better. I deeply respects Arranged Marriage but at the same time I supports Love Marriage because I know when the whole family, society and friends are against me, only my Love supported me in all situation. And see after just 1 year of my marriage I have proved every one wrong about my decision. I am working in India's No 1 IT company and my wife got a job in Central Govt. At one stage we don't have even 500 Rs but now things have changed, we earns 1/2 lac per month and my age is just 23 and my wife is 21 years old. So I believe in LOVE MARRIAGE ONLY. |
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Yazhisai said:
(Thu, Apr 19, 2012 02:52:11 PM)
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Arranged marriage: It has big disadvantages, understanding husband, mother-in-law, father-in-law, sister-in-law, brother-in-law lot like this and settling with them, adopting to them adjusting everyone tolerating their attitude.
Love marriage:It has big dangerous choosing right person, getting permissions from both family, facing the in-laws like this lot. At least in arranged marriage we can point some one for problem and the support but in love marriage we are helpless. |
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Raghu said:
(Thu, Apr 19, 2012 07:51:38 AM)
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| In my point of view both the marriages are good. Because in love marriage one who lover truly May never ever be go for divorce. And in arrange marriage understands makes the couples strong enough of their relations. So love or arrange it doesn't matter both wanna be go good understanding. |
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Harry said:
(Wed, Apr 18, 2012 03:44:51 PM)
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Hello friends, My name is Harry. In my opinion Love marriages are correct. Because in this both the partners are understand completely about themselves. In this type of marriages the lovers first ask their parents permission. With out parents and other elders we don't survive in this cruel society. In presence parents they become partners then there is no problem at all. This kind of marriages are not broken. Marriage is not a thing that can buy in supermarket or etc. It is a journey of two bodies with one heart. Once marriage is over then there is no chance to exchange the partner. It destroys the mind of children, and family construction also. By bad-luck arranged marriage is fixed try to understand the partner. Love the partner until your last breath. But the love may be began after marriage or before marriage is not important.
Thank you friends. |
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Preethi said:
(Mon, Apr 16, 2012 03:02:33 PM)
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Hi all, in my opinion, Love Marriage is good. Marriage is not a one day game. It's a relationship forever which decides the path of your life. When an individual reaches the respective age where he/she thinks they need a partner to share things, I think that individual should make a choice of choosing the partner. If this is chosen by the parents, they see the outward particles like social status, educational; qualification, financially sound or not, etc. etc. However, they will not be able to see whether the person will be able to take care of each other, understand each other, trustworthy, make the life beautiful & share shoulders when you need support. These essential ingredients for relationship can be realized only when the individual selects his/her own partner. These things cannot be seen by the parents.
If the individual decides that he/she should be his/her life partner, then the chances of Divorce will be very less. The reason is that the relationship starts after understanding. In Arranged Marriage, the couple is forced to understand each other with no choice. That is the reason there are lots of chances to Divorce. If the individual makes a wrong choice in selecting the partner, then he/she should face the consequences. Therefore, in love marriages, people make their own choices and make their remaining part of the life as they wanted it to be. |
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Himanshu said:
(Mon, Apr 16, 2012 02:26:21 PM)
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| One can make love marriages or arrange marriages that is not a main issue. There must be understanding between wife and husband. If they have trust on each other completely then they can face any problem in entire life. |
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Rate this: +46 -4
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Prashant said:
(Mon, Apr 16, 2012 12:26:52 PM)
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Arranged marriage, are more stable: families are more established, divorce is a rare phenomenon.
In the modern world the pendulum has moved. Nobody who is really contemporary is in favour of an arranged marriage; it looks ugly. How can a marriage be arranged? Unless it happens, unless two persons start throbbing for each other, the marriage is just a social, economical arrangement -- ugly, mundane, immoral. The contemporary mind thinks marriage is immoral unless there is love, but then love brings its difficulties.
Whenever a society starts giving more importance to love, then the family is disturbed, the society becomes unstable, because once you have seen the peak you start expecting it, and it will never come again. Now the whole life will be just downhill. So sooner or later one starts thinking 'Why not fall in love again and have that peak?' Then people start learning the trick of how to have many peaks in life, and the only way seems to be to have many more love relationships. They attain to a peak but intimacy disappears. These are the dilemmas: if intimacy has to be preserved, then peaks disappear; if peaks are allowed, intimacy disappears and marriage becomes a very shaky thing. You cannot trust it, and unless you trust it you cannot get totally involved in it.
This will remain so, because deep down in the human heart the real search is for a honeymoon that goes on rising higher and higher. It is not possible in a human relationship, unless a human relationship turns into a divine relationship. That miracle also happens sometimes. It depends on there being two very very artistic persons, very aesthetic, sensitive, alert and aware. If two persons are really aware and alert, then the relationship is no more human; it is divine. And then the honeymoon can remain a constant flow; it can become a continuum.
All the marriages are being made according to the astrologers -- particularly in this part of the world. Every marriage is almost an arranged marriage, and they are all failures, without exception.
The reason is that we have not yet found the right way of matching a couple. You cannot do it if the man and woman are brought up in such a way that both their sides are fully grown up; they will find their own man, their own woman.
There is no need for any arranged marriage. An arranged marriage is simply a fake; it is deception. And deceiving your own children for their whole life -- to suffer, to go into misery, to fight and still to go on keeping a smiling face to the world. They cannot say what is happening inside. Everybody thinks everybody else is living a beautiful life, and everybody is in the same boat. |
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Prashant said:
(Mon, Apr 16, 2012 12:25:06 PM)
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I think arranged marriage is good because in that relation couple don't know each other so they gives some time and chances to understand each other that helps building a new and strong relation. In arrange marriage couple do have respect for each other as they are new with the relationship but in love marriage most of the couple don't give that much respect to each other. Like if anyone of them makes any mistake other person starts shouting and scolding each other.
Arrange marriage is good. |
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Rahul said:
(Sun, Apr 15, 2012 08:49:14 PM)
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In my view both marriages are good.
The biggest benefit of arranged marriage is that there is a conscious attempt to match the two families a s well as the bride and groom on the parameters of social status, financial strength, background, educational opportunities and similar lifestyle.
The biggest benefit of love marriages is that they are based on the principle of individual freedom. There is no coercion or pressure involved. These relationships are a result of blood chemistry between two individuals. They meet each other, sparks fly and after a brief period of courtship, they get married. Such marriages have a good chance of success because they arise from mutual attraction. |
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Ravi Singh said:
(Sun, Apr 15, 2012 08:28:05 PM)
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| Without proper mutual understanding and trust, none is better. Arrange marriage has different drawbacks and love has different. Unless everyone would prefer love or arranged only. Yes, in some tradition, in case of arranged marriage, even talking on phone before marriage is instant taboo. I just hate this. I really condemn it. So, I don't support it anyway. Unless marriages are made in heaven and we should not debate over it. Bye. |
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Bharath said:
(Fri, Apr 13, 2012 09:41:24 PM)
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Nowadays the idea of love marriage and arranged marriages are getting much deeper into the minds of all that everyone is confused. Earlier there was a deliberate effort of propaganda that love marriage is not good and arrange marriages are good and best match occur by that only and love marriages fail easily, and climax that persons marrying by self selection are not good or is bad. But a recent study showed that divorce occur more with arrange marriages and better prospected couples are from love marriage. Why this happens, the reason I think is persons with more strong will power and ability to take decisions and more involved with personal relations are the ones who fall in love. Its not so with timid, slow and doubtful persons. These qualities make a person fail in all wake of life. For them to find a life partner someones help is needed and they believe as they are so good that they are not involved in love and has upheld the prestige of their family. But in reality they are weak. Too weak. Also if their parents are not so enthusiastic in finding a person, at one time or other they may loose their temper, act violently speak bad words and realizing the foolishness in relaying on their parents decided to find one themselves. But then it will be too late. That is a tragedy. In Kerala its a popular consideration that girls shall be given preference and boys can take care of themselves. Not only in the case of marriage but in every thing this concept is followed. In childhood, it will be said that boys if hungry would find food and eat themselves. But girls have to be fed by the parents or else they don't eat. This has made girls more hard and aggressive towards boys. In middle class when girls are married off, everything goes to or given to girls and even their brothers earnings are too expected to be given to her. In colleges pg classes are full of girls and boys are running to find a livelihood themselves and join for such courses. For they fear if not they won't have place to live.
There is another side to the story, now the average age of marriage has risen for ladies it was 26 in 2010, in 2011 it is 27. 5. Its difficulty to get first time pregnancy and delivery after 30. And a girls beauty fades after 25. But now its not much considered by their beloved parents, even if they only have one girl child. |
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Mohan said:
(Thu, Apr 12, 2012 02:57:53 PM)
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| As I have read the debates of love marriage and arrange marriage, many are willing To support love marraige but they are triggering because of there parents sadness or caste etc etc. Now a days most of the parents also accepting the love marriages, if you think out of your family its a tool to break the social barrier that is CASTE, I wish youth's should come you to build the secular nation. When come to married life always KNOWN DEVIL IS BETTER THAN UNKNOWN GOD, after marriage there is no love betweeen couples its just a compromise. We may live max 25 to 30 years after marriage as per 21 century human life span. Try to live with the person you like or love. So that I solidly support love marriage. Last but not the least "dont hurt parents, settle in life first, parents blessings will always be there". |
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Rrv said:
(Sun, Apr 8, 2012 10:21:27 PM)
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Marriage is one of the most important phase in a persons life. A marriage, in Indian culture is considered as a union of two families and not just two people. Earlier young children got married according to their parents wish. But things have largely changed now and we a options of getting either marriage our parents wish thats arranged marriage or by our wish, love marriage.
Its a famous proverb which says "a known devil is better than an unknown god". So in many cases getting married to a person you have know for a while can be helpful. You need less time to understand the other half. You find it comfortable to share space with that person. You already know a lot of things about that person. So it helpls. But a love marriage can turn into a mess, if you have take decisions in short span or without thinking properly. After all marriages succeed only when you adjust a bit.
When we marry according to our parents wish, not only our parents are happy but also there are huge chances of the marriage being a success. After all, our parents know us better than anyone else, and they will try to choose the best for us.
In arrange marriages, there is a tradition of dressing a prospective bride beautifully and making various tasty dishes for the famous mu-dikahi session. It is the first time the prospective husband-wife meet each other and everyone is good to each other. These appearances might be deceptive.
There are pros and cons to arrange as well as love marriage. You can't make any marriage succeed without love and bits of adjustments. "marriages are made in heaven" defininity means a happy marriage can make your life heaven! |
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Sushma said:
(Sun, Apr 8, 2012 09:36:20 PM)
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| Coming to me arranged marriage is better than the love marriage because after you get love marriage no one can support you except your friends but in arranged marriage parents, well wishers and whom you can love most are also supported you. Suppose you had a nice lover means he is like MR. Perfect he says I am only one person love you in the world and I am waiting for a long time but after you get married him he says you are the ghost of life so I don't agree with love marriages. |
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Hima said:
(Sat, Apr 7, 2012 12:30:50 PM)
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| Hello. According to me love marriage is better than arrange marriage as in love marriage both the partners knows about each others positive and negative side before only. And after knowing only they marry each other. But in arrange marriage they come to know about each other only after marriage. Love marriage should be done with consent of parents. Its been said that marrriages are made in heaven. Only thing that you have to do here is to love, trust, and be loyal to your companion. |
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Neha said:
(Fri, Apr 6, 2012 06:08:05 PM)
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| According to me both the marriages are good. It is not the matter of which marriage we are going to have, it is matter of leading life after marriage. Each of them having their own advantages and disadvantages. It depends on the two persons not on the type of marriage. When both are very understanding, adjustable then there ll be no issues. |
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Karthik said:
(Wed, Apr 4, 2012 05:04:30 PM)
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Go for arrange marriage when you primarily looking for the happiness of family and society, followed by yours.
Go for love marriage when your primary concentration is on your life, followed by family and society.
I prefer the latter. Because it will not be difficult to lead a life by satisfying A person (the person whom you loved and then married) when compared to a mass of people.
Keep in mind that marriage will definitely make you feed tied and dumped with responsibilities. But you could decide on how to lighten that burden by the right choice of partner.
Good luck! |
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Spandana said:
(Mon, Apr 2, 2012 10:46:43 PM)
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In my opinion marriage is something which gets two people together, let that be arrange or love. People getting married should be prepared for it, they should know the kind responsibility it adds to their life (two the both) , etc. They should be prepared for sacrifices, compromises, adjustments. , etc. Then, if they are prepared for all this then is when their should marry. And one thing they should be no third person between the two.
Coming to the debate point of view, then I think love marriage is what I prefer. Because in love marriage two people after gaining complete confidence, knowledge, understanding, nature of each other then decide n conclude with marriage. So they would be no issues, problems. Yeah but their be certain problems which are very common. Every problem has a solution and they could be resolved. Only thing which has to be kept in mind is TWO Adults get married. They should not involve third person unless the problem is a big mountain. Hence Happy is the marriage. |
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Rate this: +10 -6
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Sha said:
(Fri, Mar 30, 2012 06:54:31 PM)
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Hai all. Everybody has their own views. However, there are lots of people who are not able to get their love before marriage or too shy to get lover. The last choice is to depend on family decision. In my view, even if it is arrange marriage, before marriage one should take time to understand each other and try to understand that the person you are going to marry is really interested and same rule applies to you also.
There lies a great responsibility on parents too, they should understand the liking of their children and give them enough time before marriage to understand each other and take their honest consent on the marriage in order to keep the marriage happy and lasting.
I think it is better that before marriage one should meet frequently and talk with their prospective life partners to understand each other perfectly. |
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Rate this: +23 -4
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Shakthi said:
(Thu, Mar 29, 2012 05:44:29 PM)
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| NOW! all of you who support love marriage stress the "understandability" and affection factors- accepted. All those of you who support arranged marriage, support it for one unanimous reason- only in arranged marriage, elders would support you in trouble- financially or even in case of any emotional fight between husband and wife, elders will come to your rescue (?). To these people I would like to ask one question- aren't you grown enough to resolve your own financial issues or even personal for that matter- a personal problem between husband and wife being resolved by a third person sounds funny. Sorry... such people need sense and growth- they are still kids. A fight and resolving by elders can happen for kids- not between a husband and wife! Please. If there is understanding and affection and true love between the pair, there would be no requirement for an "elder" to poke in his nose and give a solution. this understanding can happen only in a LOVE MARRIAGE. Grow up guys!!! |
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Rate this: +39 -14
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Kuldeep said:
(Wed, Mar 28, 2012 01:53:05 PM)
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Arranged marriage: Must do your level best to make your partner your friend (Husband to boyfriend and Wife to girlfriend).
Love Marriage: Must do your level best to make your partner your (Girlfrined to Wife and Boyfrined to Husband).
Lesson: you need both Husband and friend ; girlfriend and wife (spouse and a friend).
Nothing come automatically but has to be worked upon.
Requirement of parental/family support:.
Arranged marriages: LOW as both partners have a high understanding of social adjustments and commitments. (as it is the parents have found the suitable match).
Love Marriages: High. As there is a high possibility that both partners willinngness to compromise is low (too much of Why not, what about me, my life, my priorities, why should I? etc etc).
How to approach in a love marriage: keep your parents in close confidence at every step- right from the first date and hopefully not (multiple break up- it is not easy to find a friend who is eventually a husband/wife material). Parental support during the excitement phase (meeting a new person) and depression phase (break ups) is phenomenally crucial.
Love marriage without parental support means- children have been doings things which they thought best to hide from parents. Things which need to be hidden from parents can never be right. Take parents support right frmo the word GO. |
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Rate this: +19 -9
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Mahi Singh said:
(Wed, Mar 28, 2012 01:50:29 PM)
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Today Love or Arranged marriage became a debating point. From this we can understand both have its own strength and weakness.
When we think of love marriage we must consider today's youngsters mind. Love become a fashion among the youth. They think if my friend have one lover I must have two lovers in order to prove my caliber to attract the opposite sex. They love each other without bothering the end results. When somebody want to love they must have the goal in their mind. But it is not found often in the love of our youngsters. They are ready to break their relationship whenever they have minor misunderstanding. So determine what sort of girl or boy you want and then fix your lover to love and make as your life partner. When you do so love marriage is good.
When we think of arranged marriage the individual expect a lot from their life partner. They often rely on the opinion of their parents. Especially girls. In this the mother play a major role in forming the mind of the girl. Many a time girls don't even show a heart to forget minor mistake of their life partner. Because of their expectations and instigation of their mother. But one think they must know "all the mistakes are happening not by intentions but by situations" which make them to do the wrong. Such kind of girls or boys life never be happy. Hence when we have lesser expectations and adaptable mind arranged marriage is good.
Let me conclude MIND PLAY A GREATER ROLE IN DECIDING WHICH IS GOOD. When a person decide a girl or boy for marriage they must have clear vision of life. Have the heart to adjust and accept their shortcomings. The success of marriage is determined by their selfless love. If there is no true love there is no success in love or arranged marriage. If there is no "sacrifice" behind this love then the love itself is not true. Thus have sacrificial love and then have love marriage or arranged marriage. Here you find both will be best and successful. Who ever read this please share your opinion. |
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Rate this: +38 -2
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Syed Hasanuzzaman said:
(Sat, Mar 17, 2012 02:31:56 PM)
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| Off course it has positive and negative side but fully depends on acceptance level of both partner along with two families. |
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Rate this: +12 -8
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Zinia said:
(Fri, Mar 16, 2012 04:22:41 PM)
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Love marriage has its advantages. We choose the person and know the person beforehand, so we know that we share a good rapport with the person we are about to marry. One drawback is that there may not be family support. Although it is true that a marriage is between two people, family plays a big hand in keeping a marriage alive.
Expectations are higher in a love marriage than an arranged marriage, so probability is higher that one would be disappointed in a love marriage more often than in an arranged marriage. And in case of such disappointment, one will have only themselves to blame. No family backing to resolve the differences. |
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Rate this: +18 -9
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Kk Sharma said:
(Tue, Mar 13, 2012 07:58:16 PM)
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Hi friends! I am K K Sharma. Very much confused after checking all the views even their truth about the subject. But question still their which one, but why the question to? Yes its human tendancy to start finding good and bad, one mistake finished 1000s even more better deeds why? And how , only because of human free mind. Yes, who thinks good and bad while in love first sight and when he/she enters the room of first night, yes no one, they starts when a little problem raises by the situation. We have to teach ourself first then move ahead towards society etc. Thanks.
Compromise is the best key, for all types of problems. |
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Rate this: +6 -11
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Balaji said:
(Tue, Mar 13, 2012 07:13:38 PM)
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| Hi friends, I agree with your points about love marriages vs arranged marriages. According to me both systems are correct. They can understood each other the both systems are correct. But I support only arranged marriages. Why because India custom & traditional culture. Parents are think about their children happily live with her/his. They want good family background. Parent views are like that in their childhood. So many love affairs are not true just time pass. All types of loves are not like that. Most of all 10-15 percent loves are success. Some of love affairs frighten about their parents. This is the reason they can't express their love. Some of the stories are end with very sadly. This is very ridiculous about their parents. So in my point of view arranged marriages are best. |
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Rate this: +24 -16
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Rajdeep Sukhwal said:
(Tue, Mar 13, 2012 05:50:39 PM)
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Hello! friends. I'm Rajdeep. I think that both love & arranged marriages are good as far as the likings of various individuals are concerned. It entirely depends on a person to view any one option for choosing a perfect soulmate.
If we consider the arranged marriages better than the love marriages, then we must agree to the point that we believe in adjustments & compromises. We should also give our partners some time & space to develop an understanding for us. We should not shower all our demands on our counterpart all of a sudden, otherwise the outcomes can be drastic.
On the other hand, if we regard love marriages as a better option to find a life-partner, we should note that the one whom we choose is a trustworthy person. Moreover he/she should not only accept us but also our families & should also respect our cultures, traditions, beliefs & customs. Love marriages can result in long-lasting relationships only when there is a proper tuning between the two involved & when their mental levels resonate.
Each type has its own pros & cons. It completely depends on us to pick our choice.
Whether love or arranged, what matters at the end of the day, is that we all have to live happily & this can be achieved by carefully choosing a life-partner.
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Rate this: +66 -0
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Diganta said:
(Sat, Mar 10, 2012 11:08:16 AM)
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| I support both love and arranged marriage. It is his/her own desicion how he/she wants to get married and the parents should respect their decisions and support them. Love happens between two people, when they spend time with each other and understand them. The only thing they should give is chance. But however you cannot wait for too long to fall in love and be logical then. In that case, arranged marriage is good. I donot support love marriage of very young couples, as most of them are immature and mistake attraction for love. This is also one of the reasons for the high number of divorce cases. Whether love or arranged marriage, the family should give their blessings and support them and guide them through difficult times, then only both type of marriage can be successful. |
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Rate this: +23 -5
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Suman said:
(Wed, Mar 7, 2012 04:09:19 PM)
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| Hi, I want to say that love is a great feeling. Everybody wants to choose his/her partner by self. But the main problem is society. We think that what other people will think about us and how will we face our parents. And sometime we consider an attraction as love. But I think real love is that in which two persons understand each other completely whether it is arranged or it is love. But to love some body doesn't mean to ran away with your partner. IF you think that you & your partner love each other. Then talk to your parents. They will definitely support you. |
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Rate this: +40 -3
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Santosh said:
(Wed, Mar 7, 2012 02:12:04 PM)
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Hi friends let me tell my opinion. Now a days all well educated human beings have their dream to live happily with her/his life partner as their responsibility. I think both arrange marriage and love marriage are the best at their place. Both have their strong point and as well as their weak points.
First consider love marriage, it means for young star love becomes a fashion when someone likes the expression and looks of his/her then they feel that they are in love and they starting love each other with out bothering of the end result. After that they break up for small misunderstanding.
Then consider about arrange marriage, in this the individual expects lot of from their partner. Especially in the girl's point of view her mother plays important role for her mind setup. Many a time girl does not show a heart to forget the small mistake of her life partner according to her expectation. Mistake does not happen intentionally it happens by situation.
Let me conclude here "mind plays a major role for the marriage". If there is true love and sacrifice then the relation is long lasting whether it is love or arrange marriage. Please give feedback after reading. |
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Rate this: +28 -19
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Jagmeet Singh said:
(Sun, Mar 4, 2012 12:37:15 AM)
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I'm in favour of arrange marriage as a mere attraction towards each other can be misunderstood as Love. Many youngsters attracted towards each other, probably either by each other's looks or way of communication and they start believing that they are in Love. Later on when they realize this, i would be too late than.
However, an arrange marriage is easily accepted in our society and also, when partners start living with each other, they eventually develop care and affection for each other. |
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Rate this: +20 -36
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Ashik said:
(Thu, Mar 1, 2012 12:56:23 AM)
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Hi friends. I'm ashik!! I would like to tell you all as your conversation and post makes mind blowing, because now a days people are well educated to choose the marriage and dream as own responsibility to her/his life partner, it good!!! Based upon all our post we're mentioning and thinking how the marriage should be for mother and father makes happy! it's not a deal which we should've to do, it's a human feeling about some personal walk on the path for their own life after our father and mother past away from this world, let us see how our future make's a good child to born and grown with education, assets and society focus to be proud as they are our child...
Without loving some one and without trusting something we can't live in this world. love should fall for animals, human beings commonly, but human forget to trust and sacrific the opposite partner and their lovable hopes!!
If you really love your partner and it should be gift from god, marriages are fixed in heaven, yes ofcourse!! but true and successful love were made by heaven. Lovely people will get the lovable people till the end of life!! it's not a arrange marriage makes perfect or love marriage is not perfect!!
father and mother may choose a things which is suitable outside of body for their child to be happy, but none of them will gaurantee for their child will happy with this marriage!!
Lovable parents will love the child for their love and they'll support for love marriage and they make the child's life heaven not as a hell!!
Love is auspicious one who is going to be a perfect partner for their life partner!! have a happy life with your life and love together!!
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Rate this: +39 -4
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Rohit Gupta said:
(Tue, Feb 28, 2012 02:17:29 PM)
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Today Love or Arranged marriage became a debating point. From this we can understand both have its own strength and weakness.
When we think of love marriage we must consider today's youngsters mind. Love become a fashion among the youth. They think if my friend have one lover I must have two lovers in order to prove my caliber to attract the opposite sex. They love each other without bothering the end results. When somebody want to love they must have the goal in their mind. But it is not found often in the love of our youngsters. They are ready to break their relationship whenever they have minor misunderstanding. So determine what sort of girl or boy you want and then fix your lover to love and make as your life partner. When you do so love marriage is good.
When we think of arranged marriage the individual expect a lot from their life partner. They often rely on the opinion of their parents. Especially girls. In this the mother play a major role in forming the mind of the girl. Many a time girls don't even show a heart to forget minor mistake of their life partner. Because of their expectations and instigation of their mother. But one think they must know "all the mistakes are happening not by intentions but by situations" which make them to do the wrong. Such kind of girls or boys life never be happy. Hence when we have lesser expectations and adaptable mind arranged marriage is good.
Let me conclude MIND PLAY A GREATER ROLE IN DECIDING WHICH IS GOOD. When a person decide a girl or boy for marriage they must have clear vision of life. Have the heart to adjust and accept their shortcomings. The success of marriage is determined by their selfless love. If there is no true love there is no success in love or arranged marriage. If there is no "sacrifice" behind this love then the love itself is not true. Thus have sacrificial love and then have love marriage or arranged marriage. Here you find both will be best and successful. Who ever read this please share your opinion. |
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Rate this: +60 -6
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Palak said:
(Tue, Feb 28, 2012 02:17:17 PM)
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| According to me, love is more important whether it is a love marriage or the arranged one. partners must have mutual understanding ,love and respect towards each other. Everyone wants the soul-mate of their choice only but society factor will restrict youth of India to not to go against it. In such cases the arrange marriage become a compromise only and may lead to negative results ( suicide or divorce). So, in my opinion the decision of marriage must be given in the hands of the person who is going to be married. it must be his only decision whether to go for love marriage or arrange marriage so that marriages will lead to satisfaction. |
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Rate this: +29 -5
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Daya said:
(Mon, Feb 20, 2012 05:40:35 AM)
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| As far as my opinion is concerned there is no doubt that marriages are decided in the heaven my friends whether it is arrange or love and it is apparently alike a field which is purely sown by the two farmers means two contemporary partner. Not possible to reap the crops of success unless one's contribution. In fact deliberately we have been stubborn to find the faults in both most important decisions of our lives rather than endeavoring to bring any one of them to the edge of bliss there is no space to make a distinguish love marriage from the arrange marriage. Confirmely in my notion love is being accused only whether it is love or arrange marriage lifein terms of pronounced unsucceded when any one of us is found faulty. Love which has been declared on the earth by its inventors that it has no eyes even it does not speak in terms of saying no words where feeling is a portable speaker instead of it. Choice is not the counter part of knowing that which knot is strong or not, it is only made of a delicate thread may be proved as stronger than as coconut's thick rope. Oil it with a lot of feelings, carefulness, trust, sacrifice so that you can drive your life smoother till the end of the life. |
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Rate this: +10 -8
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Soharab said:
(Sun, Feb 19, 2012 06:20:43 PM)
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I support love marriage. If i marry someone.If i don't love her so how to i marry her. Because love is the most things in marriage life. Without love a marriage can't be complete. If i marry someone but i don't like her but my mom & dad said me so i marry her. If i don't like her so how to i love her? So, i want to tell love marriage is best, In some cases someone fall in love and when they married then they can't adjust with each other. In every relation trust is a main things. Without trust love is incomplete and without marriage is incomplete. That's all!!!!!!!!!
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Rate this: +27 -14
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Minu said:
(Sat, Feb 18, 2012 01:26:19 PM)
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| I had love marriage with my classmate. He is very nice guy. I love him very much. We took one house on loan so that we can leave there happliy. His parents having there own house but still his parents are staying with our house without informing us. They have brought childeren of there daugther of 2 n 6 years old. These kids make house very dirty. They brought because daugher n son in law work till late they don't have time to kids. But this is not solution and my inlaws are not understandign this. This house we have purchased on our own money not a single ruppee taken from them. They have given there house to there daughter we didn't say a single word but they started staying with us. I am worried whether they can claim our house too. ? if something happens to my husband in that case. Who will have authority on house. Is there any legal way to get rid out of inlaws. |
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Rate this: +9 -77
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Muk said:
(Thu, Feb 16, 2012 01:18:09 AM)
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Well Friends
I agree with all of you, and I appreciate all of you, according to the modern culture almost 90% of girls and boys do'nt want to get arranged marriage 10% want to get arrainged marriage, in my openion love cum arranged marriage is best. yes it is possible, if a boy and girl loves each other then, they both have to express their feelings infront of their family with a genune reason and convience them for their marriage any how for their arranged marraige. |
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Rate this: +81 -9
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Neha said:
(Wed, Feb 15, 2012 03:48:43 PM)
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Love marriages and arranged marriages both are the choices of individual. Some people fall in love and then they choose each other as their life partners. There is nothing wrong with it. Love doesnt no the rules of casteism and communism. May be because of these reasons parents of those two people won't get agree at very first time. But they can just try to convince them. And only after their approval they can marry. Aftyer a love marriage situation really does change in both of their lives. They start complaining each other of not having time for each other which they use to spend together. They complain of change of priorites after marraige. These small things take huge form and ultimately the result is divorce. It means that both of them should take resposibility. After marraige they should start understanding each other duties and responsibilities. They should understand this thing they are no more love birds and now their families have involved.
Arrange marriage is like getting to know a new person and giving him\her place in life. Some people are scared of this type. One of them is me :D. This is just because you never allowed anybody else to interfere in your lifetime till date. And suddenly there will be someone for whom you have to think before taking any decision. Most of the people are reserved in nature. So it is pretty difficult for them. You don't know the bad side of a person beforehand. You don't know his weaknesses, strengths, likes and dislikes. So it just becomes very difficult to judge a person beforehand.
Both of the types have their own pros and cons :). |
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Rate this: +35 -4
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Divya said:
(Wed, Feb 15, 2012 08:59:37 AM)
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| Hi. This is Divya. Both arranged and love marriages have problems. Whether it is love or arranged marriage understanding is important. Most of the love marriages are getting failed and taking divorce due to lack of understanding. In arranged marriages, there are less number of divorce cases. But we can't say they are surely happy. Many of them are adjusting their lives for their parents. So if anyone love a person, they must say to parents and have to convince them and have to marry that person. |
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Rate this: +33 -4
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Himshikha said:
(Mon, Feb 13, 2012 09:10:40 PM)
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Hello everyone,
Well I think both, love marriages as well as arrange marriages are good on their own places. We can not make opinions about anyone. I think in this era we will have to get out of the stereotype concepts. We can absolutely not judge anything by our own. Both marriages are same, only the difference is of choice. In arrange marriages one get married to the person of their parents choice and in love marriages one get married to the person of their own choice. There is nothing bad in arrange marriages when our parents select a person for arrange marriages they do it for our good and same is for love marriages. Usually people think that love marriages are not good but here question arises.
Why do they think that?
What is bad in love marriages?
One choose right person for oneself. Atleast one know about that person, background of that person, weakness, good points, compatibility between them, understanding between them. So I think both marriages are good. We cannot compare them. |
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Rate this: +26 -2
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Vijay said:
(Sun, Feb 12, 2012 10:25:53 PM)
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Hi Friends.
I m totally agree with Saurabh Akshant Shukla, in my opinion Arrange marriage is best. There are so many reasons for this, as Mr. Shukla told that marriage is not relation b/w two persons it is a relation b/w two families. And most of all nobodies parents will take wrong decision for his/her children, they know everything. We see the world with the help of our parents. In today's world, people think that they have the right to choose his life partner and they have, but the way they are adopting is wrong. If they like someone tell your parents and if they like it then do, otherwise if they think he/she is not right for you, then don't go against your parents. Because they come first. In my point of view, love marriages has maximum number of divorce cases than arranged marriage. Because in love marriage they don't have a mediator or person that will gave them solution or way not to divorce.
Finally I just want to tell that arranged marriage are best. |
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Rate this: +38 -16
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Indu said:
(Fri, Feb 10, 2012 05:30:23 PM)
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| I feel, you should discuss with your teen/adult openly, as to what are the parameters that can crop, in love or arranged marraige. Eg hindu marrying a muslim. Both are equally good, but it adds to the burden of another line of adjustment after marraige in this inter religious marrage. Before marriage, one may be blinded to what problems can arouse after marraige. So initially itself, if there is an open communication between parents and children, then the teen/adult who fall in love keeps this in mind. So there will be less heartbreaks. Even in arranged marraige, both the girl/boy should have a sufficient courtship period where they understand each other, their perosnlity types etc. before finalising the arrangement. |
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Rate this: +12 -1
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Karthikk said:
(Fri, Feb 10, 2012 11:49:49 AM)
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The sickness of discussing love or arranged happens only in ingrown societies- your life is for you to decide- not for others, be it parents as well- definitely every person would like someone- tell it to your parents- they say no? tell them again- a hundred times- a thousand times- still they don't understand? wait! but if they try to act smart and start looking for an alliance, tell them right away to respect your feeling just like how you respect theirs- still they remain stubborn? just go ahead to start your own life as they will never accept or understand as they are not grown enough to understand your feelings.
But if you want to sacrifice your love for their wish, you are ultimately spoiling 5 lives- yourself, your parents, your love, the person you'll marry- you can never live peacefully in that case. Experiences speak loud always! |
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Rate this: +47 -5
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Jothi Chandrasekar said:
(Wed, Feb 8, 2012 11:24:13 AM)
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| Partners love is not that much great as parents love. Because parents are living god for us. They know about our future. But, in our particular age, most of them are falling in love. Partly the peope only living the peaceful life. Because, while loving, mostly adjustment took place. But, after marriage, most of the people are not adjusting and they are not understanding partners situation. Dont fall in love. If you fall in love with your lovable guy/girl, don't miss till your life end for your parents. He will be the best for your future. Because, if you are not going 2 marry him/her, then your life will be like a duplicate one. |
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Babita Choudhary said:
(Tue, Feb 7, 2012 08:20:16 PM)
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| I support love marriage.As we all know our country is moving towards globalization and therefore people of India should adopt the different way of thinking.Love marriages not only joined two people but the two families also.It not only eradicate the dowry system but also provides a new binding between two states,two culture,two religion and two families. |
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Rate this: +42 -8
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Ganesh Pawar said:
(Mon, Feb 6, 2012 11:34:19 AM)
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| Parents are not god but not less than god, if they had not given birth to us how could we come in this world, no one has seen god, but we still rome in search of god to mandir & masjid, but we don't respect them who has brought us in this world. Love or arrange marriage dosen't matter but braking a thousand of heart for our selfish ness is not good, first make you are parents convence to you are love. |
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Rate this: +20 -10
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Saurabh Akshant Shukla said:
(Fri, Feb 3, 2012 12:07:30 AM)
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| hi frnz.... in my opinion arrange marriage is much better than love marriage bcojof many reasons ...firstly i want to tell u that marriage is not the relation b/w only bride and groom but also it is merging of 2 families ..secondly in arrange marrrige there is a mediator that knows each & every thing about both families who definately shares the feelings and nature of both families with each other and it will definately profitable...whereas in case of love marriage the couple will totally decides about their future they will not understand the feeling of their families .....and someof my frnz told that in arrange marriage there is a problem of dowry .....butdowryis not the problem of arrange but also in case of lov emarrieage also.............thus finally we can say itis good to make a arrange marriage because in arrange marriage we will haveallthe things i.e blessing s of our parents and the good lifepartner............ |
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Rate this: +51 -16
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Vemulamounika said:
(Tue, Jan 31, 2012 12:41:29 PM)
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HI friends,
I think both love marriages and arranged marriages, frustations or happiness's depends on the life partners now a days many arranged marriages are spoiling two lives as well as love marriages are also spoiling their lives so its all depends on the two hearts. |
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Rate this: +27 -7
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Pramod Kumar Maurya said:
(Tue, Jan 31, 2012 10:11:39 AM)
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Hi friends, I always prefer Love marriage because Love is very important before marriage. Its matter for life long not for only few months. Love never see religion, caste, money etc. It only see love and bond. 90% of arrange marriages are done in India only for money which is demanded by boy's parents or boys.
I have also done love marriage with different religion, diff. Caste, diff. Place but after 4 years we are very happy and we having a baby also.
Most important things in love marriage is that both partner respect and love each other, they never Harris but in arrange marriage boy always Harris his wife. Girls never feel freedom.
Friends, remember one thing always. God made us and we are human. We have same right to live our life. No matter thats man or women. That's real humanity. |
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Rate this: +72 -21
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Dibyanarayan Hazra said:
(Sun, Jan 29, 2012 08:59:05 PM)
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Hi friend,
I am Dibyanarayan Hazra. I am support Love Marriage. I will give all reason.But first i want say some thing.
In INDIA Parents always think about their child love. If someone falls in love it will punishable in home. It is not true.Real example one of my friends falls in love with good moral girl. He told his parents then his parents refuse his prayer and rusticate from home. Parents do not give money to him, he loss his carrier object. He can not keep "Hons". So he first loose his education. He may be a great person so India loss one new star. In that way so many student got stacked.
Now another one mentality ,
One of my senior falls in love then he talk with his parents again refused by parents without knowing the girl. After two years someone parents start to see girl for their son. Son said "Whom I want I can not get her according to you so whatever you choose i will accept" to his mother. Then they start to find and finalize one girl then one copy of picture gave to his son. He is shocked that it is that girl who is loved by him. After the marriage he said to his parents she is this girl whom I want. It is real so now what you say about this type of family.
Now I am for in love marriage.
1> We should know each other before marriage.
2> A girl or a boy can do acting for three or five days not for long time. So when parents went to see him or her then he or she becomes good one.
3> If a boy and a girl is not perfect to each other then after marriage divorce is must.
4> Marriage is done between two people so decision should take by two people.
That's why I support LOVE MARRIAGE. |
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Rate this: +35 -8
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Saranya said:
(Sat, Jan 28, 2012 11:15:50 PM)
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Hi this is saranya. When most of the person said arranged marriage is better than love marriage. But my point of view love marriage is best because there is decision taken by two hearts and they have enough time to understand one to ene. And they are ready to fece any type of problem in future.
In arranged marriage decision to be taken by olders and nobody giving chance to people to share their feelings. Arranged marriage its may be a compulsion only. So love marriage is better. |
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Rate this: +33 -6
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M Ismail said:
(Sat, Jan 28, 2012 12:59:59 PM)
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Hi Friend Both Saying Arranged Merriage is Better than Love Merriage , But my Oppionion is That we love to Partner but his parents not Agree with us , How can we do , Thats why all ways depend on Future is possible our life is Sucessful .
Marriage is concerned of Both people , not forget the parents and not forget the Friend, So Keep smillling Allah is better than Know Our Future .....
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Rate this: +11 -21
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Anjana said:
(Fri, Jan 27, 2012 11:56:34 PM)
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Hi friends in my mind what type of marriage it is secondary first they should have understanding and love in both arranged and love marriage they should have love and understanding in both marriages with out these 2things no marriage can go safely in their life journey.
Today we are seeing number of eloped love marriages why means then can't convince their parents for that reason only parents are against to lovers.
Parents are seeing our future only they know which type of person suit his/her to their children s once we prove in your self in life after we should convince our parents we have a chance to tell our opinion in-front of our parents they will defnetly accepts our love parents can never against to the love its depends on our convincing and our capability.
Arranged marriage also have some problems in olden days our parents very suffering with dowry problem in arranged marriages that is the disadvantage it should also have love and it is fully parents choice the parent should know the opinion of her/his.
So don't never loss our love till end of your life friends and don't forget your parents don't cheat your self or any other persons and all the best to your life. |
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Rate this: +13 -2
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Ram Sahu said:
(Tue, Jan 24, 2012 11:23:46 AM)
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Hi friends, Let me read few words of my mind. This is not a fight between LOVE or ARRANGED. MARRIAGE is a life time bond between you and your life time partner. If it is not then there will be no more any MARRIAGE. If you have a clear picture of your partner then it means you can understand him or her at any time... and if you really love some one then you really want to undesatand him or her.
Love starts from an attraction then every one wants to keep it as it is; so you all should know to protect your attraction by being as same as you were, though it is arranged or love. If you are able to prove that you really love each other and you can manage your rest of life as being one person then I don't think any parent would spoil your love. |
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Rate this: +13 -3
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Sam, Nagercoil B.D, Mba said:
(Sat, Jan 21, 2012 10:50:13 AM)
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Today Love or Arranged marriage became a debating point. From this we can understand both have its own strength and weakness.
When we think of love marriage we must consider today's youngsters mind. Love become a fashion among the youth. They think if my friend have one lover I must have two lovers in order to prove my caliber to attract the opposite sex. They love each other without bothering the end results. When somebody want to love they must have the goal in their mind. But it is not found often in the love of our youngsters. They are ready to break their relationship whenever they have minor misunderstanding. So determine what sort of girl or boy you want and then fix your lover to love and make as your life partner. When you do so love marriage is good.
When we think of arranged marriage the individual expect a lot from their life partner. They often rely on the opinion of their parents. Especially girls. In this the mother play a major role in forming the mind of the girl. Many a time girls don't even show a heart to forget minor mistake of their life partner. Because of their expectations and instigation of their mother. But one think they must know "all the mistakes are happening not by intentions but by situations" which make them to do the wrong. Such kind of girls or boys life never be happy. Hence when we have lesser expectations and adaptable mind arranged marriage is good.
Let me conclude MIND PLAY A GREATER ROLE IN DECIDING WHICH IS GOOD. When a person decide a girl or boy for marriage they must have clear vision of life. Have the heart to adjust and accept their shortcomings. The success of marriage is determined by their selfless love. If there is no true love there is no success in love or arranged marriage. If there is no "sacrifice" behind this love then the love itself is not true. Thus have sacrificial love and then have love marriage or arranged marriage. Here you find both will be best and successful. Who ever read this please share your opinion. |
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Rate this: +66 -5
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Cindy said:
(Thu, Jan 19, 2012 09:49:04 AM)
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| After reading several of these, I think the point of marriage is being over looked. One must look at what love really is beyond the emotions and pressures from others to get married. One must find and understand themselves in a way that they can honor another and not take away dreams, but to enhance their partner. Thus creating a meaningful relationship that will last. Is eveyone compatable? To choose a partner for another? It could be compared to breeding livestock. Yes they will breed and get along to some extent. I would like to think that mankind could advance beyond that sort of union and enter into an inspirational realm of great advancement. One of thinking and rational descion making. Imagine that mankind has evolved and advanced into something new wonderful and exciting! What would male and female encounters look like then? |
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Rate this: +12 -9
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Shan said:
(Thu, Jan 19, 2012 05:02:25 AM)
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Hello everyone,
At the beginning I am telling that, I support love marriage. What is love marriage and arrange marriage? love marriage is to marry our own girlfriend, and arrange marriage is to marry other's girlfriends. Then why should we think about arrange marriage? parents are used to say that there are always a girl behind a successful man, but do you know! there are always a girl also behind a unsuccessful man also. And the no. Of unsuccessful is drastically increasing and the girl behind this, is either his girlfriend or his mom. At the time of our parents, they were not able to love before marriage, so is there any reason to pass their frustration on their children? parents are making our voter id to separate the field of income. Then why they are so much eager to choose our life partner? if we can't love then why this valentine's day, why that Adam-eve? why boys ? why girls? why this type of social discrimination? come friends lets enjoy our past stone age. We aren't able to live in this century. |
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Rate this: +10 -37
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Radhika said:
(Tue, Jan 17, 2012 01:09:36 PM)
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Hi friends,
Let me read few words of my mind. This is not a fight between LOVE or ARRANGED. MARRIAGE is a life time bond between you and your life time partner. If it is not then there will be no more any MARRIAGE.
If you have a `clear picture of your partner then it means you can understand him or her at any time. And if you really love some one then you really want to undesatand him or her. Love starts from an attraction then every one wants to keep it as it is ;so you all should know to protect your attraction by being as same as you were, though it is arranged or love.
If you are able to prove that you really love each other and you can manage your rest of life as being one person then I don't think any parent would spoil your love. |
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Rate this: +28 -5
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Manila said:
(Sun, Jan 15, 2012 05:09:25 PM)
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Hi Guys,
I read through many of the comments, some supporting love marriage some arranged. I think marriage has its own progression cycle. Which starts much ahead incase of luv marriage and starts post marriage incase of arranged one. It starts from knowing your partner and then liking / disliking things and then finally accepting the person. The acceptance though comes gradually when you develop the sense of belonging. In both cases if you have not been able to get or give the due respect from /to your partner. Or not being able to give that special position. Then eventually we all feel lost and loose the basic sense of why we got married. The day we choose separation or divorce to be an option. I guess it happens. So in my view it doesnt matters if you were in love n then got married or you got married and then luv happened. What matters is that sense of belonging n respect and trust that he/she will be there and you will not be left alone. |
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Rate this: +15 -10
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Rameez said:
(Sat, Jan 14, 2012 04:08:26 PM)
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| In my regard arrange marriage is far better than love marriages..because if a love marriage doesn't work then the two persons who has taken the commitment of being with each other can be blame for that and there will b no one to give sympathy it often leads to despair. Well in arrange marriage its a marriage where parents play the main role even if it doesn't work you can be rest assured that you are not the culprit..my sister's arrange marriage didn't worked well but still she is firm from her mind that her parents are not the culprit..she will have a better life..in love marriage two individuals go against there parents wishes..sometimes it leads to untimely death.. |
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Rate this: +7 -24
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Tanweer Siddiqui said:
(Thu, Jan 12, 2012 12:06:40 AM)
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Hello.
Marriage is not only about two individual in particular. Its about two family from different back ground. So while we talk and support love marriage we should look at this aspect As well. |
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Rate this: +17 -16
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Swapna said:
(Mon, Jan 9, 2012 01:42:41 PM)
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Hello everybody,
I find this topic a very interesting one.
For me, Love marriage and arranged both has its own importance.
Viewing now-a-days relationships success rates, all i can see is that people break up and move on with other people quite easily.
so for me, Until and unless people spend both, quality and quantity time with each other in positive as well as negative situations. Love can not be defined.
If people get married after 1 year of their relationship with all Happy Happy things , no fights . It seems nothing can be as great as it is.
But, when it comes to tackling the fights, family everything all together, then only one can be sure about what their actual relationship is. and where it stands.
And everything remains the same for arranged marriage.
I personally think that if The courtship period before the arranged marriage is long enough to understand each other , there is not at all a single difference between Love and Arranged marriage.
In fact in that case nothing can be more successful than it. because it becomes LOVE CUM ARRANGED then :)
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Rate this: +63 -6
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Chitra said:
(Thu, Jan 5, 2012 12:28:18 PM)
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Hi friends we can't say anything about love marriage or arrange marriage that this will be success. I always see in mostly cases of arrange marriage that girls are always sacrifice with their feelings, dreams etc etc. After that girl's parents give dowry for her daughter too live better life with whom they choose why? I don't know I hate those people who take dowry.
In love marriage all these things are not applicable. That's why I always support to love marriage but we should check all the things of our partner if we do love marriage or else arrange. Because now a days many people are fake in both cases. So open your eyes always before do arrange or love marriage. |
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Rate this: +57 -8
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Bharadwaj said:
(Thu, Jan 5, 2012 05:58:15 AM)
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I think this is one of the good discussion I found regarding this topic. Lot of good views about both versions of marriage.
I think, In a place like India, Love marriage works best when their parents support it. Again love marriage can be inter caste or in the same caste. But unfortunately, when people fall in love, caste is always taken for granted. Parents resist it when it is inter caste and they most likely support when it when it is same caste. People should be really lucky for that to happen.
I have seen successful marriages even after their parents warned it will fail.
I have seen unsuccessful marriages even after parents matched all the points in horoscope.
The point, I am trying to make here is, it all depends on two individuals on how they deal with life after they get married.
Both versions of marriage has it own pros and cons.
It is perfectly fine with meeting someone whom parents choose when you have not choose anyone by yourself.
But if you choose someone by yourself, you should discuss with your parents before giving up. I can understand, sometimes, not every parents will agree to it but we all know that no parents wish to spoil their own children's lives.
I think success of the any marriage cannot be measured by divorce rate. Lot of couple choose to stay together even though they do not like just for the sake of society or for the sake of their children or for the sake of their parents. They make compromise and carry on with their lives.
The way I look at marriage is, when you are in love with someone, you should try every possible thing to work and stand by each other. After all, it is not like you wake up one day and realize you love someone. Not everyone fall in love or express their love.
But when you do not know whom to marry, then seek your parents help.
PS:Everything above are just my opinions. It is not meant to hurt anyone's sentiments. |
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Rate this: +38 -6
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Priyanka Pal said:
(Mon, Jan 2, 2012 12:19:54 PM)
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I guess marriage totally depends on the nature of the two people getting married. Nowadays, thinking matters more than all those culture, habits, family and all. If two people are happy being together then it will be a successful marriage. And you cannot make evryone happy at the sametime. Either make your family happy or urself happy.
Its true that in past arranged marriages worked best. But at that time, girls hardly had any say. They had to obey their husbands and din't have any option. Now it is not the same. Girls are quite matured and they can decode thei good or bad. So marriages of any kind can break. I myself know one of my aunt who got arranged married thrice and only the last one worked for her. Her previous husbands were very bad and she is a simple middle class girl. |
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Rate this: +22 -4
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Nitheish said:
(Wed, Dec 28, 2011 12:34:35 PM)
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Hello friwnds.
In my point, arrange marriage is best when compared to love marriage. See in olden days have more arrange marriage and less love marriage so, have no more divoce case in court but, today having more love marriages and less arrange marriage so having more divoce case in court. So, arrange marriage is best.
I would like to give an example here my friend, first he love a girl, she's his college mate. It goes up to only three months the that love get destroyed now he love her school mate and she also love another boy. But, now also he was not confident with their love I don't know when it get break or join.
So friends today's love are not a real love it's just a infatuation. So arrange marriage is best. |
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Rate this: +34 -49
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Abeerah Khaliq said:
(Thu, Dec 22, 2011 05:10:16 PM)
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A love marriage is a union of two individuals based upon mutual love, affection, commitment and attraction. In maa opinion LOVE is important in every relation but it doesnot mean that it could be in the form ov love marriage. MUtual understanding is the 2nd important thing that is the key behind any successful relation.
Both the marriages could be successful as well as unsuccessful if they have these 2 basic things or lack it respectively. |
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Rate this: +49 -10
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Kiran said:
(Thu, Dec 22, 2011 12:10:12 AM)
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Hi friends,
On this discussion I would like to add few lines and real life example. I feel that Love marriage is better because we choose our life partner after knowing in and out about him/her because we spend a good amount of time with him/her. We know about his/her likes and dislikes, his lifestyle, his decision making points, his nature, when to talk or when to leave him alone and many more things which are very important for life. And in arrangs marriage, all these matters we can't judge about a person in one or two meet where that person can be fake also. And these matters are unavoidable after marriage and you can't change the things afterwards. If things go wrong, the girl will either bare it commit suicide. Yeah she can also go to her parents where her parents will either ask her to go back to in-laws place after few compromises, just to save their image in society. Or SUPPORT her to get divorced, thats all happens in real life.
An example with me, My parents brought a proposal to me of an IES officer. Families had almost decided that this marriage is fixed. When we went to meet them, they asked few sarcastic questions to me before my family itself which my family also dint like but still they were fine. The Guy (IES) dint utter even a single word, he was not even bother about my like and dislikes, whether i'll be able to adjust with his family or not, how my behavior is. No nothing he asked. And after 2 hrs of family talk and all. They left. After half an hour their response comes saying they are ready for this marriage but with the dowry of 35 lakhs.
Friends, I am an MBA working with reputed IT firm and belong to financially balanced family. I said no this decision despite getting pressurized by my family members and later on they also found an evident about that guy side family.
And my friends, this happens in almost all the parts of India. But not everyone is lucky as me.
I believe Love marriage is better but don't go with blind love also. |
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Rate this: +90 -10
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Sameer said:
(Tue, Dec 20, 2011 04:12:01 PM)
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In love marriage the two individuals know each other very well after spending ample amount of time with each other, accepted but when they get married the real picture starts there where the girl and the boy have to follow the custom and duties of the family they are living with. In short, the girl easily excepts the boy but finds difficult to except his family readily. And the conflicts begin ruining the beautiful dreams they have thought before marriage. Whereas in arrange marriage the girl and the boy though do not know each other make efforts to understand themselves. There relationship is excepted by all relatives and they do not have to face any social obligations.
Two families unite together and the relationship is very healthy. Thus married couple has a family to share their joy. Where in love marriage the struggle continue even after marriage. In a country like India having enormous population, the rate of divorse is very low because due to arrange marriage system the decision of marriage is taken by elders and responsible members of the family and hence they share their thoughs and interfere during testing suituations in a couples life, while in love marriage, the association is in between two families of entirely different culture hence they have very low tolerance limit and marginal tensile strength resulting into seperation of relationship and afterwards it is the girl not the boy who is blamed for the whole consiquencies. |
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Rate this: +35 -5
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Vikram Rathore said:
(Tue, Dec 20, 2011 09:57:01 AM)
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Hey hi friends from my point of view arrange marriage is much better then love because
1. In arrange marriage you don't know anything about each other and you are excited to know about your partner (Interest,Hobbies, etcccc.
2. As we take an average our ancestors did arrange marriage and which are more successful till now .
3.Arrange marriage satisfies both families related to caste , Dowry etc .
4. Today is the modern era of human beings so after fixing arrange marriage boys & girl enough time to thought among themselves which is quite god enough from my point of view so in a short interval of time they came more closer then apart of 2-3 years relationship .
5.Today generation is well educated so they don't think about dowry because they want to settle their independent life and want to work together . so its a good approach of today generation to settle a wonderful time in a short time i. e arrange marriage . |
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Rate this: +25 -28
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Rekha said:
(Sun, Dec 18, 2011 08:29:53 PM)
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| I strongly go with the Love marriages as in love marriage, you know about your life partner his thoughts , nature etc so you can adjust with him for end of your life however in arrange marriages sometimes you compromise with lots of things. Might be your parents forced you to do that.If your parents understand you , they will respect your feelings and do for your best.Love marriages are successful becoz they understand feeling of each other and respect each other and always think of his or her better and never feel guilty too. |
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Rate this: +28 -8
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Mahdi Bayat said:
(Fri, Dec 16, 2011 08:44:23 AM)
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| Marriage is an official bond of mutual respect, faith and honesty between two people. It is a socio-cultural issue which vastly depends on the religious, traditional and geographical indicators of a region. In some cultures, this relationship is believed to be sacred and divine. However, in different cultures and religions, the approach to this life-bond process is different. In most western countries, the pendulum is for love marriages, while in many Asian countries the gravitation is for arranged marriages. There is also a third type of marriage which is prevalent in Afghanistan; forced marriages. Since marriage is one of the most important stages of one's life, a public controversy may arise about whether a person should choose his partner himself or the family should select his partner. Although some may advocate the idea of arranged marriages and some may go for love marriages, I believe that a mixture of both would lead to a more secure and everlasting relationship. |
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Rate this: +18 -2
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Neena said:
(Thu, Dec 15, 2011 08:27:19 AM)
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| In most of the arrange marriages involve the two strangers who agree for the alliance when they only get to see each other for the first time and commiting to a relationship on advice of others. And sometimes there could be lots of fraudlent, lies involved from either side to make it happen there and you can not know what the other person is like in all the cases. For what it may look can be untrue. Whereas in love relationships where you can be committed to someone for years and you get to know each other through the years. You will also face many situations where you both need each other and be supportive or unsupportive or whatsoever. Hence you are tested whether you both can fit into the frame of love marriage and make it a successful marriage later on. So entirely upto a person as it affect his/her whole life make the decision wisely. |
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Rate this: +14 -4
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Priya said:
(Fri, Dec 9, 2011 07:09:24 PM)
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Well according to me love marriages are better, because in love marriage there is a scope for both the girl and boy to know each other in a very good manner. Moreover the level of commitment between them would definitely support their relationship.
Where as in arranged marriage, infact in most of the cases it's the dowry the deciding factor, but not the opinions of the boy or girl to enter into a relationship. Understanding your partner will peep only after you get engaged. Here is a deadlock where you cannot deny now, keeping in view the respect of yoor family answer social status. So I would certainly support love marriages. |
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Rate this: +24 -7
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Mona said:
(Wed, Dec 7, 2011 08:26:48 PM)
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I have just question for those people who says arrange marriage are good because their parents are there even in ny fight & love marriage is unsuccessful because both partner has to face more worst situations and having no support from anyone.--
There are many arrange marriages where both partner has to face worst situation & even they get their parents support too.But for what..finally that support is given to satisfy each ego & which result into rate of divorce...And if people says that arrange marriage are more successful then this is also the fact that in INDIA the rates of divorce are getting increased too..Is this only the support that every body get in arrange marriage?Then somebody can still decrease rate of divorces???????
Another point that someone mention that love marriages are unsuccessful because men's nature always get change after marriage.That's true.But is it not possible that after 3-4 yrs of success of arrange marriage even those men can also change any point of the time & make a life more worst like a hell?
If a girl & guy can understand each other's nature, if they are clear about how their partner wish them to be then the success bar of love marriage too will go high. |
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Rate this: +20 -9
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Prasanna said:
(Wed, Dec 7, 2011 05:33:05 PM)
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Hi friends,
In my opinion arrange marriage are more successful as compare to love marriage. Because in love marriage both boy and girl have to manage all the situations, most of the time their family member never interfere in between them. After marriage sometimes it happens that their ego problem might come and they fight because of that.... and like before marriage if one from them gets angry so other one comes and try so solve the situation, is not going to happen after marriage. Ego and nature of both is same but the situation is changed like before marriage they are Couple and now they are husband and wife. And I men's expectation is surely change after marriage.
Apart from all this things in arrange marriage we never know the actual nature or behavior of the person with whom we are going to spent our entire life. But we both are not alone their to spent our life, we have the family with us. |
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Rate this: +56 -18
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Anusha said:
(Tue, Dec 6, 2011 10:32:29 PM)
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| In my view love marriages are little bit better because in this type of marriages the decisions are taken by our heart. Although our heart is at left but the things that are done by it are always right. And I also agreed all my friends opinions and concluding that where there is a good understanding between couples then the result never depends on the type of marriage. |
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Rate this: +16 -10
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Mona said:
(Tue, Dec 6, 2011 08:11:01 PM)
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Hello All,
I am back again... Read your inputs and this time i found all guys & girls having balanced thinking about that both love & arrange marriage can be successful.That shows that this generation is really mature enough that atleast they will not commit same mistake as past age parents are doing.If thi generation couple willing to do arrange marriage for their children then it will be not for sake of their EGO but they will go with child happiness.And definitely with love marriages i dont think you guys will raise any concern.
Just a little note for Shivani.Its not good that without knowing other's life situation you can simply comment or vomit about philosophical lines written in the book "Parents are almost topper than GOD". You know the concept that "Five Fingers are not always same".If you got good parents then that is your good luck & that's why you are talking all good about. Its not you that make parents great or its not Milez that makes parents selfish.Its all about individual situation and luck.Today also in many area of Rajasthan or if you take east India their are parents who looks after their EGO,gives more attention to society thinking if their girl or guy choose any right partner.And just for their selfish purpose they will get their girl married to such a guy who will beat her , treat her entire life like a slave & still enjoying all rights as a good man in a society.
In this case where can you comment that parents are great like a GOD or they have thought about their children happiness?
Parents are addressed next to GOD because after coming on the earth they take care & make u stand on our leg.But they are also normal human being like us.So parents are always correct or they are always great -- No science talk about such lines too. |
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Rate this: +23 -6
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