Bride burning and dowry may look bad, but are an integral part of India.
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82 comments Page 1 of 9.
Binu said:
1 decade ago
Hi friends.
This is a very aggressive topic.
The parents of groom are taking dowry for the below reasons.
1. They are selling their boy with a good and handsome money. And the boy is sold to the girl which will pay the highest pack.
2. They are having no confidence on their boy and neither the boy is able to collect all the necessities of his daily life by himself. So they are asking some other person to fulfill it.
3. Till today they have lived up their life by like beggars so they are doing the same now.
Its about boys, but what about the girl's families which are so rich that they made it a tradition for all to give dowry.
Why they can't just say NO for that family which is greedy.
See that family will never be able to keep your daughter happy.
And one example would be.
That if the boy want to watch TV and the wife will say its mine you can't watch it now.
Than what would be the self respect of that boy. Its just a humiliation on their part to take dowry.
You should both have to earn what you need in your life.
DON'T JUST PUNISH THE FAMILY AND GIRL FOR YOUR GREED. If you want more SO EARN IT NOT BEG IT.
She will be doing much more than you even by being a housewife. So why are you just not ready to understand it that its you who owe something to your lady. So you just stop it and be human.
And the other bride burning in many houses is only for dowry. But there are many strict laws in India so this practice has stopped somewhat. But for those who are still burning the bride, they are the shameless people. And they also have to pay for it giving their life. As its the right of god only to give and take someones life. We are not god, so we don't have any right.
In the last I would just say BE THE HUMANS, THAT TOO A SELF RESPECTING AND INDEPENDENT ONE.
This is a very aggressive topic.
The parents of groom are taking dowry for the below reasons.
1. They are selling their boy with a good and handsome money. And the boy is sold to the girl which will pay the highest pack.
2. They are having no confidence on their boy and neither the boy is able to collect all the necessities of his daily life by himself. So they are asking some other person to fulfill it.
3. Till today they have lived up their life by like beggars so they are doing the same now.
Its about boys, but what about the girl's families which are so rich that they made it a tradition for all to give dowry.
Why they can't just say NO for that family which is greedy.
See that family will never be able to keep your daughter happy.
And one example would be.
That if the boy want to watch TV and the wife will say its mine you can't watch it now.
Than what would be the self respect of that boy. Its just a humiliation on their part to take dowry.
You should both have to earn what you need in your life.
DON'T JUST PUNISH THE FAMILY AND GIRL FOR YOUR GREED. If you want more SO EARN IT NOT BEG IT.
She will be doing much more than you even by being a housewife. So why are you just not ready to understand it that its you who owe something to your lady. So you just stop it and be human.
And the other bride burning in many houses is only for dowry. But there are many strict laws in India so this practice has stopped somewhat. But for those who are still burning the bride, they are the shameless people. And they also have to pay for it giving their life. As its the right of god only to give and take someones life. We are not god, so we don't have any right.
In the last I would just say BE THE HUMANS, THAT TOO A SELF RESPECTING AND INDEPENDENT ONE.
(36)
Mohseen khan said:
1 decade ago
Nowadays everybody wants to be against of dowry system but only in front of society only, they just want to show themselves that they are also a good citizen of India but actually they just say it and don't mean it, when they get married that time only their parents are decision maker not the groom, and in reality the groom also want money from bride side so that he can get something without any effort.
Nowadays parents are selling their son, because they demand for their son, I know many families who claimed that they spent a lot money on their son and helped him to get a position so that he can earn and now they want to sell a quality product in front of bride's parent.
There was family, I know them personally, father of son said to bride's father that "I spent minimum 50 lakhs rupees on my son to make him a doctor and now he's doctor and on family is giving us 80 lakhs and one car and 1 kg gold, so if you can give us more that them then we can talk ahead", so that's the real scenario and nowadays this is happening in many families so I want to ask you people that firstly 1. Is a father is selling his son 2. Did bride's family not spend money on their daughter's education and many other things? 3. If they are selling their son then son should stay at bride's house and live like a servant because their parents sold him out and I want to ask that Is it crime to being a girl in society so that we are accepting her with money, precious things and many other things.
Can't we accept a girl with her only a good heart without any dowry ?
Please don't sell your son and say no to dowry and accept girl with love, not with worthless money.
I am saying a Big No to dowry, I won't take even my mom dad are against of it, so listen to your heart not your mean mind all time.
Nowadays parents are selling their son, because they demand for their son, I know many families who claimed that they spent a lot money on their son and helped him to get a position so that he can earn and now they want to sell a quality product in front of bride's parent.
There was family, I know them personally, father of son said to bride's father that "I spent minimum 50 lakhs rupees on my son to make him a doctor and now he's doctor and on family is giving us 80 lakhs and one car and 1 kg gold, so if you can give us more that them then we can talk ahead", so that's the real scenario and nowadays this is happening in many families so I want to ask you people that firstly 1. Is a father is selling his son 2. Did bride's family not spend money on their daughter's education and many other things? 3. If they are selling their son then son should stay at bride's house and live like a servant because their parents sold him out and I want to ask that Is it crime to being a girl in society so that we are accepting her with money, precious things and many other things.
Can't we accept a girl with her only a good heart without any dowry ?
Please don't sell your son and say no to dowry and accept girl with love, not with worthless money.
I am saying a Big No to dowry, I won't take even my mom dad are against of it, so listen to your heart not your mean mind all time.
(151)
Emma said:
1 decade ago
While I am not an Indian national I have often been very interested in the rites of other countries. India has always fascinated me and I have traveled there twice - once as tourist and on another occasion to celebrate my brothers wedding. (He is Australian and married a Sikh lady - no dowry was exchanged).
What I find interesting is that there is often media coverage about the rising rate of abortions of female infants in India. This is mainly due to the ability to access ultrasounds - and that there is a stigma that the family will have to pay a dowry for the girl. What I don't understand is that if you are killing off a portion of women this will cause an inequity in the gender balance and therefore you will be making women a scarcer commodity. (Sorry to use such commercial terms) It has often been proven in economics that once you make an item scarcer people will need to reassess the value of that item. I am assuming that Indian families would like their abundance of "sons" to marry and have children and continue the family name? If there are not enough women to procreate with their sons would it be possible, that at some stage in the future, the women may hold the upper hand and that a reversal may been seen that families would ask the male side to pay a dowry to ensure that they have a wife that will bare children? It is just food for thought.
If you look to China you only have to see that they are struggling with the gender imbalance and that there are not enough women per males.
On that note I must say it is refreshing to see that there are so many people who oppose the dowry system and bride burning. Good on you and continue your plight raise women to an equal standing.
What I find interesting is that there is often media coverage about the rising rate of abortions of female infants in India. This is mainly due to the ability to access ultrasounds - and that there is a stigma that the family will have to pay a dowry for the girl. What I don't understand is that if you are killing off a portion of women this will cause an inequity in the gender balance and therefore you will be making women a scarcer commodity. (Sorry to use such commercial terms) It has often been proven in economics that once you make an item scarcer people will need to reassess the value of that item. I am assuming that Indian families would like their abundance of "sons" to marry and have children and continue the family name? If there are not enough women to procreate with their sons would it be possible, that at some stage in the future, the women may hold the upper hand and that a reversal may been seen that families would ask the male side to pay a dowry to ensure that they have a wife that will bare children? It is just food for thought.
If you look to China you only have to see that they are struggling with the gender imbalance and that there are not enough women per males.
On that note I must say it is refreshing to see that there are so many people who oppose the dowry system and bride burning. Good on you and continue your plight raise women to an equal standing.
(18)
Roselyn kaur said:
10 years ago
Hi!Everyone.
Gone through the whole discussion and what I have analysed is that we are only discussing the social problem 'Dowry' which is already prevailing in our society. We are talking about what happened in the past and what is happening at present with the groom and bridegroom. I think we all are here to take out some positive solutions for our children so, that atleast we and they should not suffer in future (what is gone is gone).
Whether it is a girl's family or boy's family both have gone through the same phases and hardships in bringing up the child. If girl's parents had saved their hard-earn money for their daughter then same is done by the boy's parents too. Yes, today society has changed girls are equally educated as boys, both can earn good for their living. But as parents we too have responsibilities and love towards our children. I feel that both the parents desires and dream for the beautiful life of their children after marriage.
Both the parents must teach the lessons of adjustments, patience and co-operation to their children for their married life. Both the parents should equally be present for their children like financial, physical and moral support. We cannot expect our children to start their new life all by themselves and for new life they really need finance. Why not lets both the parents give finance equally instead of putting the burdon on girls parents. Couple can choose to live seperately or with any parents by their choice. AS parents are responsible for the well-being of both the children, same way children must take care of both the parents equally.
Thank you.
Gone through the whole discussion and what I have analysed is that we are only discussing the social problem 'Dowry' which is already prevailing in our society. We are talking about what happened in the past and what is happening at present with the groom and bridegroom. I think we all are here to take out some positive solutions for our children so, that atleast we and they should not suffer in future (what is gone is gone).
Whether it is a girl's family or boy's family both have gone through the same phases and hardships in bringing up the child. If girl's parents had saved their hard-earn money for their daughter then same is done by the boy's parents too. Yes, today society has changed girls are equally educated as boys, both can earn good for their living. But as parents we too have responsibilities and love towards our children. I feel that both the parents desires and dream for the beautiful life of their children after marriage.
Both the parents must teach the lessons of adjustments, patience and co-operation to their children for their married life. Both the parents should equally be present for their children like financial, physical and moral support. We cannot expect our children to start their new life all by themselves and for new life they really need finance. Why not lets both the parents give finance equally instead of putting the burdon on girls parents. Couple can choose to live seperately or with any parents by their choice. AS parents are responsible for the well-being of both the children, same way children must take care of both the parents equally.
Thank you.
(37)
Ishita said:
1 decade ago
According to me Dowry is a curse for our society. It is the worst culture of our society. Dowry is another name of greediness which has no end. Now a day, dowry system is at its highest point. The boy's family demands for a lot of cash, jewelry, vehicles, household articles etc. In form of dowry to girl's family. And if the girl's family is not able to pay such a great amount, they break the relation.
I want to say, why girl's family give dowry to boy's family. Only because of this, that they have a daughter. On one side we are talking about women empowerment and another side we are downwarding the position of women in our society by doing this type of activity. These are the things that bring women down and make a feel to woman that they are less than boys in every manner.
Some people are agree for dowry issue and giving logic that girls should have a partition in her father's property.
But this is not correct. When the boy's family demands for dowry, they never think about the limitation of girl's family. If girl's father has a property of 20 lakh and the girl is 4 brother or sister, then what is the part of that girl in property? Only 5 lakh! But the boy's family demand for 20 lakh that is the whole property of girl's father.
Finally what is the result? The relationship breaks. In many cases, the girl can't bear such a big insult and go to depression.
When, when we Indians wake and say no to dowry!
We should try to stop the dowry system. We are the future of India. Everything depends on our thought.
I want to say, why girl's family give dowry to boy's family. Only because of this, that they have a daughter. On one side we are talking about women empowerment and another side we are downwarding the position of women in our society by doing this type of activity. These are the things that bring women down and make a feel to woman that they are less than boys in every manner.
Some people are agree for dowry issue and giving logic that girls should have a partition in her father's property.
But this is not correct. When the boy's family demands for dowry, they never think about the limitation of girl's family. If girl's father has a property of 20 lakh and the girl is 4 brother or sister, then what is the part of that girl in property? Only 5 lakh! But the boy's family demand for 20 lakh that is the whole property of girl's father.
Finally what is the result? The relationship breaks. In many cases, the girl can't bear such a big insult and go to depression.
When, when we Indians wake and say no to dowry!
We should try to stop the dowry system. We are the future of India. Everything depends on our thought.
(31)
Sakshita Kashyap said:
9 years ago
Dowry and bride burning is no doubt a dreadful and unacceptable act but the truth is bitter that these are an integral part of India.
Although bride burning is not so common, however, it is still prevailing in many parts, especially in western and northwestern parts of our country.
But dowry is a very usual phenomenon in marriages of almost all regions of our nation. Dowry actually makes those old thoughts true which used to say that women are inferior to men.
It is a matter of shame for all of us that this thought is still clasping the mind of Indian people after 71 years of independence. Furthermore, it is really surprising that even girl's parents also don't oppose this evil. Even educated families understand girl a burden and they pay boy's family for taking away that burden. But in fact boy's family should be thankful to girl's family for giving them an angel to handle their family and their boy. Dowry not only snatches the right to equality but also attacks the dignity of Indian women.
Women are in no way lesser to men, so they are not a bond to bear any noxious act that will happen against them, whether it is a dowry, bride burning or any other old day customs.
So, we all irrespective of caste, creed and gender should take stand against all the immoral acts with females because if we want our nation to become independent in real means then we need to make the mothers of India independent.
Thank you.
Although bride burning is not so common, however, it is still prevailing in many parts, especially in western and northwestern parts of our country.
But dowry is a very usual phenomenon in marriages of almost all regions of our nation. Dowry actually makes those old thoughts true which used to say that women are inferior to men.
It is a matter of shame for all of us that this thought is still clasping the mind of Indian people after 71 years of independence. Furthermore, it is really surprising that even girl's parents also don't oppose this evil. Even educated families understand girl a burden and they pay boy's family for taking away that burden. But in fact boy's family should be thankful to girl's family for giving them an angel to handle their family and their boy. Dowry not only snatches the right to equality but also attacks the dignity of Indian women.
Women are in no way lesser to men, so they are not a bond to bear any noxious act that will happen against them, whether it is a dowry, bride burning or any other old day customs.
So, we all irrespective of caste, creed and gender should take stand against all the immoral acts with females because if we want our nation to become independent in real means then we need to make the mothers of India independent.
Thank you.
(66)
ABHIJEET NANDAN said:
8 years ago
Bride burning and dowry are not only unlawful but also a very shameful act. Due to dowry, many newly married women are beaten and in some cases, they are tortured so badly that they die. Our culture doesn't support dowry.
In early days girl's father gave some money and ornaments to the bride by his own wish. But slowly it became a tradition. And after that, it has become a social evil now.
The root cause of bride burning and dowry is gender inequality in our society. Our society is dominated by men who in turn tries to dominate over a woman. It creates the gender inequality. Girls are not educated due to this they become illiterate and can't raise her voice against violence occurred against her.
The government has made many rules to discourage dowry system but those rules can be implemented only when society will help to discourage this system. Any reform can't be bought without the help of society. For this, we have to discourage gender inequality firstly. Secondly, we will have to educate girls just like boys so that they can raise their voice against violence.
God has given equal capacity to both men and women. Now women are also coming forward and giving their excellence in every field just like men. Women are going to highest posts in many areas. Our foreign minister, defence minister are also women. So we should give equal chances to women also and create a better society.
In early days girl's father gave some money and ornaments to the bride by his own wish. But slowly it became a tradition. And after that, it has become a social evil now.
The root cause of bride burning and dowry is gender inequality in our society. Our society is dominated by men who in turn tries to dominate over a woman. It creates the gender inequality. Girls are not educated due to this they become illiterate and can't raise her voice against violence occurred against her.
The government has made many rules to discourage dowry system but those rules can be implemented only when society will help to discourage this system. Any reform can't be bought without the help of society. For this, we have to discourage gender inequality firstly. Secondly, we will have to educate girls just like boys so that they can raise their voice against violence.
God has given equal capacity to both men and women. Now women are also coming forward and giving their excellence in every field just like men. Women are going to highest posts in many areas. Our foreign minister, defence minister are also women. So we should give equal chances to women also and create a better society.
(52)
Shankey Kumar said:
1 decade ago
Hello friends, according to my point of view it is wrong to say that bride burning and dowry is an integral part of India. I am totally against the dowry system. I think that the government should completely banned the dowry system in marriage because we all see that instead of enacted of law against whom demand dowry in marriage, the peoples are still demanded and the only way to completely end this is to ban it.
I think that the incident of bride burning and dowry are mostly happen because of girls are not consider equally to boys. The peoples thinking is that boys are more superior than that of boys and they not treated well to girls and maintain a difference between boys & girls and same is happen with girl after marriage. Also the girls are not still totally independent today.
So if we really want that such type of incident like bride burning and dowry are not happen, then there is a need of change. The change is needed in our mindset that the boys are not superior than girls because we have lots of example of brave girls like Mother Teresa, Sunita williams, Kalpana Chawla etc who could bright the name of nation. Also there is a need of change in the law. The government make more strict law against bride burning and dowry so that peoples thing thousand times before doing such type of crime and make fast track court for the completion of such type case earlier.
I think that the incident of bride burning and dowry are mostly happen because of girls are not consider equally to boys. The peoples thinking is that boys are more superior than that of boys and they not treated well to girls and maintain a difference between boys & girls and same is happen with girl after marriage. Also the girls are not still totally independent today.
So if we really want that such type of incident like bride burning and dowry are not happen, then there is a need of change. The change is needed in our mindset that the boys are not superior than girls because we have lots of example of brave girls like Mother Teresa, Sunita williams, Kalpana Chawla etc who could bright the name of nation. Also there is a need of change in the law. The government make more strict law against bride burning and dowry so that peoples thing thousand times before doing such type of crime and make fast track court for the completion of such type case earlier.
(32)
Angel said:
1 decade ago
Hi Friends. I m Totally against Dowry system in India. It is a social ls evil. This problem is deep rooted in India. This is due to wrong mentality of society that boys are more superior to girls. They think boys are bread winners of their family. But nowdays girls has proved their worth. They are neither weak and inferior to nor dependent on anyone. Sunita Williams, Saina nehwal, Marrykom etc. Are the best examples.
Bridegroom's parents thinks that they do some favour on bride's family or we can say they are selling their boy (smart, educated) to bride.
Parents must encourage their daughters to be independent, to be educated.
Law enforces some stringent measures to curb this menace but nothing is going to be changed until society has changed their mentality.
Women has a very religious place in india's traditions. Denigration of women has ruined our society.
No security is provided to girls. Women cannot enjoy their freedom. Society's mentality forces them to live in boundaries. But why? both men and women are God's creatures. Both have their own rights. Restrictions on women are due to only society norms made by human. So these norms must be put to an end.
One question to girls.
Why are parents of educated and independent girls giving dowry? they must take stand against it.
Bridegroom's parents thinks that they do some favour on bride's family or we can say they are selling their boy (smart, educated) to bride.
Parents must encourage their daughters to be independent, to be educated.
Law enforces some stringent measures to curb this menace but nothing is going to be changed until society has changed their mentality.
Women has a very religious place in india's traditions. Denigration of women has ruined our society.
No security is provided to girls. Women cannot enjoy their freedom. Society's mentality forces them to live in boundaries. But why? both men and women are God's creatures. Both have their own rights. Restrictions on women are due to only society norms made by human. So these norms must be put to an end.
One question to girls.
Why are parents of educated and independent girls giving dowry? they must take stand against it.
(26)
Neha said:
1 decade ago
Good afternoon everyone.
I am totally against the social evil - dowry system.
In India girls are seen as a symbol of glory and wealth.
Still when a girl child is born parents are sad. Why?
Dowry. From that day onwards their time starts to start their savings. They live their whole life saving each penny for their kid, For giving dowry so that their daughter won't be ill treated in her husband's home.
In olden days after marrying a girl her husband was supposed to look after her. He was the only one to earn.
But Today women are educated. They work and earn money. They can live without financially depending on their husband. Still they are supposed to take dowry with them. Think about parents who have only girl children!They give their life time's earning to their child! And you know today's system right. After marriage a girl is not allowed to give money to their parents. She have to stay in her husband's house and look after his parents. Then who will look after her parents who couldn't save anything for them in their life because of her? Don't you think this is totally unfair!
Guys please please don't take money as dowry when you marry.
I am totally against the social evil - dowry system.
In India girls are seen as a symbol of glory and wealth.
Still when a girl child is born parents are sad. Why?
Dowry. From that day onwards their time starts to start their savings. They live their whole life saving each penny for their kid, For giving dowry so that their daughter won't be ill treated in her husband's home.
In olden days after marrying a girl her husband was supposed to look after her. He was the only one to earn.
But Today women are educated. They work and earn money. They can live without financially depending on their husband. Still they are supposed to take dowry with them. Think about parents who have only girl children!They give their life time's earning to their child! And you know today's system right. After marriage a girl is not allowed to give money to their parents. She have to stay in her husband's house and look after his parents. Then who will look after her parents who couldn't save anything for them in their life because of her? Don't you think this is totally unfair!
Guys please please don't take money as dowry when you marry.
(70)
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